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Mentality on Dating

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  • Mentality on Dating

    So, I guess the reason why I wandered on to this site is because I'm probably desperate. I want to try dating and being in a relationship, since I'm 23...but I haven't been able to get past the first step.

    To keep it short, the biggest obstacle I make myself face is being more accepting of others and being myself. Every time I've started to try dating people I'm either never myself and just settling to hang out with a guy where I'd rather be doing something I'm enjoying, or I don't even give others a second thought when I am busy having fun with a hobby. I've tried online dating, friends pairing me up with someone, even blind dates.

    I think the trigger that sort of set me off really focusing on this is how much I put myself at war over a guy I began seeing. With him informing me he has mono, and wants to hang out at his place the next day I can't help but find incredibly offensive and insulting. I'm sorry I care about my health, and with my job can't afford to get sick, but some twisted part of my head is making me feel bad and give him a chance, because he's the only one who seems to want to hang out with me anyway, which in turn makes me feel like total crap about myself.

    People always seem to grimace or feel bad or look confused when I tell them I've never been in a serious relationship before whenever they ask, and haven't gotten past 3rd dates. What am I supposed to say? Oh, I'm just not very good at dating? I always seem to look like a fool, and I'm sick of it. Maybe I'm just not mature enough for this.

    I'd like to hear other's stories if they ever had any negative thoughts and reluctance towards dating, especially with online dating and friends trying to set up dates for you.
    Last edited by Sweetie Belle; 05-11-2014, 10:22 PM.

  • Given proper medical treatment Mono will only last for about two weeks, so you can hang out with him, just don't go kissing on him, and always be yourself in any relationship.

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    • Originally posted by Patti-here View Post
      Given proper medical treatment Mono will only last for about two weeks, so you can hang out with him, just don't go kissing on him, and always be yourself in any relationship.
      Haha yeah, of course. I've always found a problem trying to push guys away who want to move further with a relationship, and considering we've kissed already, I don't doubt he'll try again. I think I also am more able to realize I don't really enjoy hanging out with him either. Eh, back to square one.

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      • Lol.. Ok your only 23, so take your time and find someone that you enjoy being with,, and never allow anyone to move further than you want them to.

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        • There are some people who are perfectly content to be alone for the most part in terms of relationships. If that's you, don't run around trying to find a guy just to satisfy some notion that you're being 'normal' or a good citizen or whatever. Do what you want to do.
          [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]

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          • The first step in dating is to get comfortable in your own skin. Most people are nervous or not themselves because they believe that they are not worthy of someone else's attention. The most attractive feature of a woman (besides her brain) is . . . CONFIDENCE. If you feel good about you, others will seek you out.

            A good first step might be to approach boys who share your hobbies. We are most genuine when we are doing something we enjoy and the commonality will give you both something to talk about. You are still very young -- don't stress about it.
            "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

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            • I think that sometimes people see dating as a means to some end. I think it makes much more sense to think of it as the goal: enjoying spending time with someone. There is no point in dating someone if you don't feel like it or don't enjoy it. Wait until you find someone you feel like spending more time with then do so.

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