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Dating my brother's really close friend

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  • Dating my brother's really close friend

    Recently, I have put myself in a bit of a weird situation. My brother is married and just bought a new house. A couple of weeks ago, my brother's best friend from college came to stay with them and he is doing a job search from their house, so he will be staying for an open-ended time period. I am graduating college in just a few days and I recently stayed with my brother when I went back home for a job interview. While I was there, I had this crazy connection with my brother's friend. We stayed up all night just talking the first night I was there. Then, when I was there for a second night, we ended up staying up late again and making out in the jacuzzi. The day after that, the two of us spent most of the day together while my brother and his wife hung out at home. The two of us recognize how weird this situation is and that if we can find a reason not to pursue this..that we shouldn't. Unfortunately, the more we have talked, the more we want to spend time together. I have never had these kinds of feelings towards anyone (including the feelings I had to for my boyfriend of two years). I feel like I need to see where this could potentially go, but I'm also aware that my brother may not be ok with it. What should I do?
    No. It will end badly.
    Yes, but continue with caution and take things slow.
    Maybe. Make sure that someone talks to your brother about it first and figure out his reaction.
    Absolutely! No one should tell you who you can and cannot date.

  • You should go where your heart leads you.


    • I don't really see what the problem is. Your brother doesn't have any exclusive 'rights' to his friend. If it thrills you to be around this guy, you should explore it and see where it goes.
      [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]


      • Tread lightly! That's my advice. I went through something similar and decided to follow my heart. While I'm confident I made the right decision, it was selfish. The people involved in my particularly situation no longer speak to each other so I often feel like it's my fault their friendship was ruined. That said, I have an amazing boyfriend and I love our life together. So for me, the drama we went through to get here was just a minor bump in the road. Hopefully I don't eat my word in the future!

        The problem is that there will be a lot of pressure on the relationship early on. Everyone will wonder where it's going and what happens if it ends badly. That sort of negativity can be toxic for relationships. I would definitely talk to your brother first. If he is supportive, then I'd say go ahead. If he seems hesitant, you're both consenting adults and can do whatever you want. But at least you respected your brother enough to consult his opinion.


        • How do you know your brother may not be ok with it, he knows this guy since College and he's his friend. Providing this guy is not a user of women, which he would know, he more than likely will be thrilled.

          I remember starting to date a guy my Brother knew because he was a nice guy my parents and brother were over the moon. Mind you I had a crush on this guy at 14 but wasn't allowed to date him. When he kissed me it was so closed it turned me off and that was that. Nothing further eventuated but obviously your kiss together was electric.

          He, this guy isn't trying to make out with you. " The two of us recognize that if you find a reason not to pursue this you shouldn't". The two of you haven't to date.

          People outside the situation are not, can not be the reason. It has to be about you two.

          You won't know if this guy is the guy unless you give him a go. After all you had better communication and now feelings for him than you had for your ex.

          Take it slow for a month and see if you both feel the same and if so, then approach your Brother and tell him you are together, not that you are asking for permission, you're a grown woman and I am sure he will see that. He will recognise it's serious instead of something that has just started if he is the worrying type.

          He more than likely will simply state to his friend "don't hurt her".


          • You can tell your brother about your developing relationship with his friend and he should respect your decision, as you are both consenting adults. He knows his friend and probably will be happy that you are trying to be with someone like him, rather than a stranger. You can seek the advice of an astrologer to talk about your compatibility with your brother’s friend.



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