[honeybee888]

A little back ground first!

I have been with my dude for almost a yr and a half. In the very beginning we ran into a couple bumps with him talking to girls, he never physically cheated or went to go visit any of them but took the flirting way too far. That has stopped for a good while, but left me with a couple trust issues ( i am very VERY cautions when it comes to trust ). All in all i would say our relationship is pretty good. In the past few months he told me his room mates are moving to a town about an hr to an hr and a half away from me. It is a bigger town that where we live with more job opportunity. He currently works at a factory job as a temp but they are talking about him being hired on full time and learning how to do machinery. My thing is Im having difficulty thinking about being with a person who is that far ( yes that is far for me ) away from me. A part of me sees how it could work and the other part sees that if a person thinks another person is truly important, then they would do everything they could to stay within that area. He has tried for a while to find a better job here in my town so i can understand him wanting to go somewhere else. I do not want to hold him back from something like a better job opportunity but I am very VERY nervous. Also he is not a big phone person. I feel like I would need that kind of communication if he was in a different town. Would I be dumb to stay? or should i consider leaving?

[Claret]

In this day and age of computers, cell phone, texting etc. the distance can be cut down for daily communication. Are you currently living with him? You say he has room mates so I'm guessing not. Do you see him each and every evening? Just on weekends? Just once or twice a week? With him being an hour away can he easily get to where you live? Can you have him stay over for weekends? etc...

Long distance relationships can work but they depend upon the commitment of each person. If you are committed to each other the distance shouldn't matter in the short term. In the long term, yes I can see problems unless you have the freedom and money to effect travel back and forth. Even with this you may run into problems. Is there someway that you can move to where he is going?

Is he going to better himself? If yes, then you have to let him go.

[honeybee888]

In this day and age of computers, cell phone, texting etc. the distance can be cut down for daily communication. Are you currently living with him? You say he has room mates so I'm guessing not. Do you see him each and every evening? Just on weekends? Just once or twice a week? With him being an hour away can he easily get to where you live? Can you have him stay over for weekends? etc...

Long distance relationships can work but they depend upon the commitment of each person. If you are committed to each other the distance shouldn't matter in the short term. In the long term, yes I can see problems unless you have the freedom and money to effect travel back and forth. Even with this you may run into problems. Is there someway that you can move to where he is going?

Is he going to better himself? If yes, then you have to let him go.

No we do not live together. We see each other about 4 times a week. I have two children and when they are with their father he basically stays with me. When my kids are there he will still spend the night with me also about 4 times a week. I do not want to move to where he is going because the public schools are not that great and they are in a great school here. I like ur advise tho! Def something to consider!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know, it takes a male "in my opinion" a few months to really connect to a woman. The lust, turning to more and the more they get to know us, the more they fall for us... In the meantime, before that, they were single and in their single-hood they looked, stared and flirted.

He stopped so he respects you.

He's tried to locate more work to stay where he is but he hasn't been able to and so, yes, he needs to do this for himself to better himself and who knows after that what jobs he can find.

We can't control someone and if they do, do something then we have to realise that, that person wasn't for us, we can't wrap our relationship in cotton wool, nor should we because the person who remains in our lives, does so because were are two peas in a pod and there isn't anyone else that can compare.

Use this time, to allow him to see "absence makes a heart grow fonder", use it for you to see you are "ok" on your own and can hold your own, within a relationship. Go do something yourself that betters yourself.

Why leave? Why think your dumb for staying? If he strays put a smile on your face and simply let him know you are better than that and can do better than him, that makes you smart not dumb.

Too many people "fear" what if. And, in most cases that creates an ending in the end, through their fear instead of trust, laughter and smiles which is an admiration of a man as long as he realises she isn't stupid.