Hi, I want to make this as short as possible with the most accurate non biased info.
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We've had a lot of ups and downs. But through it all we've decided to work at it and stay together.
In a nut shell i met him as he was looking for an exit from a relationship he wasn't happy in. He was to marry his sisters best friend. It was really messy. I told him not to leave her for me but because he was unhappy. But i think i clearly gave him the exit he was looking for. Any way we had 3 very blissful very intense months of love and then he left to serve in the army overseas. I waited for him. When he came back things were great for a month and then everything changed. He was distant and unemotional. I found out he had been contacting his ex again. It started as closure for them. Sorting out their mess but quickly turned to flirty texts and calls and meeting up for coffee. I knew something was wrong so i checked his phone and found all the evidence. When i asked him he lied to me, and since then i have had serious trust issues. I was incredibly hurt. But through it all we have stuck together and worked out our issues. I am by no means a saint. I punished him mercilessly for his mistakes. And in a way i ruined our relationship as much as he did.
We're a lot better now, happy and in love....but in the back of my mind these fears never ever go away completely.
My troubles are of late i have been incredibly jealous... of everything and everyone around him. It has died down a little because he is giving me enough attention to reassure me that everything is okay (And i realized i was over the top) but i still want to explode when he checks out a girl on the street, or adds another women to his facebook! or likes a girls status or picture.
Secondly I'm obsessed with his ex fiancé. I check her facebook and instagram all the time. She leaves everything on public so I can see everything she posts. All her pictures, all her statuses. I know that she leaves it on public so if my boyfriend looks at her profile he will see everything. And that kills me. Because I know in my heart of hearts he looks. I even checked his facebook to see who he'd searched and she was one of them. She is beautiful, and fashionable, and tan and blonde and has a lot more money, friends and family then me. I know people only put their best self on social media but she is just so cool. It kills me. I find myself imitating her a lot. Her clothes, her looks. And I don’t know why I feel like this. My boyfriend left her because he wasn't happy, he didn't want that. But I can't help it. I am attractive, I know that. I get my fair share of attention but she is so glamorous. I can't compete... even though it’s not a competition. I feel myself get so low when I look at her pics. I've had to stop. But I still think about her all the time. It’s so wrong I know... If my boyfriend knew he’d be sickened.
And lastly...we don't have regular sex. This really saddens me and i don't know how it got to this stage. We only see each other on weekends and maybe once in the week so i know its not from to much time spent together. I tried to talk to him about it but he said he didn't think there was a problem and he hadn't even noticed. When i pressed the issue he complained he couldn't do anything right and that made me feel guilty. We have sex 1 to 3 times a month. And i always initiate. We kiss and cuddle and snuggle a lot. It just never leads to anything else. I know there is no one else because he is so busy with work and when he's not at work he's with me... but I just don't understand what it could be?! I take care of myself and i try to look nice... i just don't get it.
Please if anyone has helpful, positive advice. I really want to work on my relationship and make it better. I don't want to end it. We've already put so much time and effort into it and besides the sex things are really moving in the right direction.
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We've had a lot of ups and downs. But through it all we've decided to work at it and stay together.
In a nut shell i met him as he was looking for an exit from a relationship he wasn't happy in. He was to marry his sisters best friend. It was really messy. I told him not to leave her for me but because he was unhappy. But i think i clearly gave him the exit he was looking for. Any way we had 3 very blissful very intense months of love and then he left to serve in the army overseas. I waited for him. When he came back things were great for a month and then everything changed. He was distant and unemotional. I found out he had been contacting his ex again. It started as closure for them. Sorting out their mess but quickly turned to flirty texts and calls and meeting up for coffee. I knew something was wrong so i checked his phone and found all the evidence. When i asked him he lied to me, and since then i have had serious trust issues. I was incredibly hurt. But through it all we have stuck together and worked out our issues. I am by no means a saint. I punished him mercilessly for his mistakes. And in a way i ruined our relationship as much as he did.
We're a lot better now, happy and in love....but in the back of my mind these fears never ever go away completely.
My troubles are of late i have been incredibly jealous... of everything and everyone around him. It has died down a little because he is giving me enough attention to reassure me that everything is okay (And i realized i was over the top) but i still want to explode when he checks out a girl on the street, or adds another women to his facebook! or likes a girls status or picture.
Secondly I'm obsessed with his ex fiancé. I check her facebook and instagram all the time. She leaves everything on public so I can see everything she posts. All her pictures, all her statuses. I know that she leaves it on public so if my boyfriend looks at her profile he will see everything. And that kills me. Because I know in my heart of hearts he looks. I even checked his facebook to see who he'd searched and she was one of them. She is beautiful, and fashionable, and tan and blonde and has a lot more money, friends and family then me. I know people only put their best self on social media but she is just so cool. It kills me. I find myself imitating her a lot. Her clothes, her looks. And I don’t know why I feel like this. My boyfriend left her because he wasn't happy, he didn't want that. But I can't help it. I am attractive, I know that. I get my fair share of attention but she is so glamorous. I can't compete... even though it’s not a competition. I feel myself get so low when I look at her pics. I've had to stop. But I still think about her all the time. It’s so wrong I know... If my boyfriend knew he’d be sickened.
And lastly...we don't have regular sex. This really saddens me and i don't know how it got to this stage. We only see each other on weekends and maybe once in the week so i know its not from to much time spent together. I tried to talk to him about it but he said he didn't think there was a problem and he hadn't even noticed. When i pressed the issue he complained he couldn't do anything right and that made me feel guilty. We have sex 1 to 3 times a month. And i always initiate. We kiss and cuddle and snuggle a lot. It just never leads to anything else. I know there is no one else because he is so busy with work and when he's not at work he's with me... but I just don't understand what it could be?! I take care of myself and i try to look nice... i just don't get it.
Please if anyone has helpful, positive advice. I really want to work on my relationship and make it better. I don't want to end it. We've already put so much time and effort into it and besides the sex things are really moving in the right direction.
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