JNS has this guy's number. He can pay for frivolous items like a new gaming system (which I understand is ideally a once in a 5-year span purchase, but excuse my eyeroll!) but won't pay for more practical things like a program to further his programming ambitions? Whether he's loaded or poor, that doesn't sound like he has his priorities straight.
Since your money is not essentially yours and is instead your parents', I wonder what they think of the situation? If they have carefully decided how much money you should have for your allowance, I wonder what you're going without in order to give to him?
How do you feel about the idea of moving in with his parents, and how do his parents feel about the idea? Is the house "theirs" with him having a room, or is it MEANT to be a shared space between multiple families? Do they live in your home country (you don't have to say where that is if you don't want,) or near your parents, friends, and your safety net? It sounds very isolating.
If you want to make it work, it's time for a re-frame. Tell him you are no longer able to contribute to his financial needs - you, after all, technically don't have any money! This doesn't mean you can't give him gifts as you see fit, but you shouldn't feel pressured to give gifts outside the amount and schedule you might normally give. Let him know how disappointed you were that he promised you a gift and did not come through. Be honest about your concerns and don't let him make you guilty about your feelings, since the biggest thing you're feeling is LOVE for him and desire to make both of you happy.
And though this is 3+ years in the future, I urge you not to marry him (or anyone) without hashing these kinds of issues out beforehand. You will likely hear it many times, but it bears repeating - your personalities and interactions won't change for the better upon getting married, and anything that bothers you now will only get worse and worse.
Since your money is not essentially yours and is instead your parents', I wonder what they think of the situation? If they have carefully decided how much money you should have for your allowance, I wonder what you're going without in order to give to him?
How do you feel about the idea of moving in with his parents, and how do his parents feel about the idea? Is the house "theirs" with him having a room, or is it MEANT to be a shared space between multiple families? Do they live in your home country (you don't have to say where that is if you don't want,) or near your parents, friends, and your safety net? It sounds very isolating.
If you want to make it work, it's time for a re-frame. Tell him you are no longer able to contribute to his financial needs - you, after all, technically don't have any money! This doesn't mean you can't give him gifts as you see fit, but you shouldn't feel pressured to give gifts outside the amount and schedule you might normally give. Let him know how disappointed you were that he promised you a gift and did not come through. Be honest about your concerns and don't let him make you guilty about your feelings, since the biggest thing you're feeling is LOVE for him and desire to make both of you happy.
And though this is 3+ years in the future, I urge you not to marry him (or anyone) without hashing these kinds of issues out beforehand. You will likely hear it many times, but it bears repeating - your personalities and interactions won't change for the better upon getting married, and anything that bothers you now will only get worse and worse.
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