[SashaJones]

I am 33 and my bf is 47. We have been dating for a couple of months. He is nice to me and he likes my family. I met his fam and he met mines. The problem I have is he dont want me to ask him questions bc he said that is a sign of being insecure. But he asks me questions all the time. Then he says trust is something we must have so I try not to ask him so many questions. When he's around his friends, he will call me from tje bathroom or from inside of his truck. So am I just be insecure or is he cheating?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Sasha, welcome to WH.

We may need a bit more information.

I always think it's a good thing if you meet family, did he introduce you to them as someone new in his life?

I see nothing wrong with asking him questions about "now" as you are in his life so you should know what goes on in it, trust to me is about trusting that he is not cheating on you but off course you've just asked us what we think , if he is so do you see yourself as in-secure?

And, does he work a lot driving the truck? Does he allow you to call him when ever you wish to?

[SashaJones]

He owns a business so yes he works a lot. I can call him whenever I want but he wont always answer his phone. I dont think im insecure he just says I am bc I ask questions. But now I dont bc I figured if he is cheating he is going to lie about it any way. So im just hoping for the best. If he's not cheating I dont want to run him away bc I really like him. Im kind of going with the flow.

[atskitty2]

What kind of questions are we talking about here?

[SashaJones]

Any kind of questions. He doesn't want me to ask him questions at all. He says just trust him.

[DreamP346]

Any kind of questions. He doesn't want me to ask him questions at all. He says just trust him.

When you say any kind of questions, does that mean you can't even ask questions like, how was your day or do you want to hang out together this weekend?

[SashaJones]

Like, he usually tells me where he is going and who he will be with. He doesn't want me to ask him where he was or who he was with after he has already told me. I can ask what he did when he was out with his friends but the answer will be short and quick and after that he doesn't want me to ask him again. What ever he says is the end of the conversation. He just don't like questions. I know it sounds weird.

[SashaJones]

And after he has told me that he is going out with his friends, I cant call him but he will call me. If I do call, he wont answer the phone.

[DreamP346]

I'm seeing too many warning flags here. It's not about him cheating. It's about him being super controlling. Not a good sign.

[Claret]

DreamP346, I see things differently. I see that they've only been going out a couple of months. I see him still doing things on his own (which is his prerogative) and I see her trying to determine a blow-by-blow description of his evening and what he's been doing. Innocent or not, she is probably irritating a 47 yo man that doesn't need nor want to explain his doings.

SashaJones, are you engaged, living together, in a committed relationship? What type of relationship do you have with this person, are you just dating? After he goes out does he return to your house, do you share a house together? He has his own business, he probably doesn't have time for phone calls while he is working.

He doesn't need someone checking up on him 24/7. I'd say give the guy a break, let him call you from work -- when he can -- if he can't don't call him. At 47 he's allowed to make his own decisions as to when and who he goes out with and if he is with his friends and doesn't want to call in front of them but calls from a more private place -- so be it. Why interrogate him as to why he's calling from the washroom?

In the end it won't get you anything but frustrated, more than you already are. You need to find something for you to do when he's out and you both can have your away time from each other free from stress.