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He seemed interested & I didn't see it coming,why didn't he mention this situation?

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  • He seemed interested & I didn't see it coming,why didn't he mention this situation?

    I met a guy at a my summer job a few weeks ago: we are both 22 and we get along well but i'm stuck in a confusing situation.
    So we work in the same service in that firm and spend a lot of time together every day, quite logically. He is gentle, a genuine guy, he walks me every evening to my bus stop, sometimes he even makes a detour and takes it with me to keep talking. He knows the area better than me so he also shows me around and we have lunch together very often. He's had flirty gestures (putting his hand on my lower back, when he hugs me goodbye he lingers a bit and has soft eyes, once or twice he even softly kissed my cheek), he compliments me sometimes and he seems caring (the other day he went ou without telling t to buy me coffee as i was tired) etc. We get along well, talk a lot, including about relationships, he never mentionned a girlfriend... but on Friday night as we were leaving work and walking as usual, i asked him what he was gonna do that evening. At first he said he was gonna meet with some friends, but after walking a few more minutes, he confessed to me that he actually had an appointment with his gf to dump her cause he he didn't love her anymore and he needed to have the honesty to do it. I was shocked, he never mentionned her. They've been together 2 years apparently. But still, before meeting her he spent 2 hours with me. But what should I think of that? Why did he delibarately not mention her?

  • Honestly, he's opened up and told you so keep talking to him, the only answer to most of that will come from him.

    He obviously doesn't love her if he's being honest as he's showing affection, care with you.

    But, it's hard to break off with someone and start with someone new "unless" you've been out of love for a long time.

    Just go with the flow for now, communicate with him, ask him how it all went, if he's ok.. and let time tell if he slowly has gained feelings for you and it can move on into a different direction.


    • My view is somewhat different than CW's. You met him a few weeks ago and now he is ready to dump his gf of 2 years. I wonder if she even knows that he has met someone else. For those few weeks he has been quite attentive to you without being overbearing. To be sure, such an approach can be a good one where work puts you two together. I wonder if he would have been able to get you to notice him if the market had been more competitive or there were stricter guidelines about harassment. I'm not saying what he did was harassment, but to others some of what he did could have been.

      I guess I would have expected him to tell you of his gf before so you could have seen the big picture, even if he said he didn't love her any more when he told you of her.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • Bumping this thread, as Nina perhaps hasn't received enough replies and may not be able to recall her previous password, therefore has re-joined as Clem23.




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