[catalina15]

So the other night I had a one night stand with this guy, fully not expecting it to turn into anything. However, we ended up staying up all night talking and just got along really well. He texted me the next day asking me how my day had been and he said "I loved talking to you all night until the sun came up, I just felt like we had so much to say and I can't stop thinking about you." And then we were texting about all these things he wants us to do together and he asked me to go to dinner with him. Do you think it's possible for this to turn into a relationship, or am I just being naive about the whole situation??

[Claret]

It could turn either way so why not give a relationship a chance? Many long term couples started off not knowing if it would be a lasting thing. Many long term relationships start off as one night stands so why not this one?

[Ashlee T.]

Stranger things have happened. If you're into him at all, give it a chance and see what happens. Know your boundaries, what you want, and then just go with the flow.

[effy2014]

Can I ask why you wouldn't want to have a relationship with a man you have already had sex with? Do you think he was being naive about wanting one?

As for your question, I'm with Claret and BD. If he had other qualities you admired, what is the harm in exploring the relationship. He took the initiative. I am assuming that, if the two of you had a date, you would be able to determine whether he is BF material or just wants another round in the sack.

[catalina15]

Ok so update - we went to dinner and it went really well, but then we ended up hooking up again...I know I maybe shouldn't have done this and should've tried to slow things down but whatever. This was on Thursday night (the first time was on the previous Sunday). Since that time he's texted me like every day numerous times and seems genuinely interested in getting to know me. However, he hasn't planned anything else with yet, it's just been a ton of texting back and forth. I'm just confused about the whole situation and what he wants out of it and I don't want to come on too strong or anything like that. Thoughts?? Thanks!

[jns]

As long as there are no red flags, I say go for it. Find out what he wants out of the dating. Some guys are willing to jump in immediately if things seem right. By staying up all night talking the first time, you seem to have got to know each other fairly well.

[atskitty2]

I would just ask him what he has in mind. He could be thinking you're fwb or a couple, or nothing at all. . Talk to him. There's no harm in asking, and it isn't coming on too strong, in my opinion. He may just naturally be a talkative guy and you're misunderstanding his efforts in communication. Or, he could be thinking he's found the one for him. Point is, you need to hear it from him.
But generally, I agree with the others, no harm in seeing where it goes, but if you're confused and want clarity, ask him.

[effy2014]

Ok so update - we went to dinner and it went really well, but then we ended up hooking up again...I know I maybe shouldn't have done this and should've tried to slow things down but whatever. This was on Thursday night (the first time was on the previous Sunday). Since that time he's texted me like every day numerous times and seems genuinely interested in getting to know me. However, he hasn't planned anything else with yet, it's just been a ton of texting back and forth. I'm just confused about the whole situation and what he wants out of it and I don't want to come on too strong or anything like that. Thoughts?? Thanks!

I do not understand this generation. You text back and forth, but not about the most important issue. You can ask without coming on too strong . . . just communicate. If you and he can't have this conversation, there is no future.

As for whether you should have slowed down on the second date, what would that have accomplished? You can have sex when there is no attachment but not when there can be? The second nights sex did not affect the possibility of a relationship. He came back because he liked you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm not sure Effy.

Guys can be fickle as we know. Maybe he saw potential from the conversations thereafter and wanted to have a date and see where that went. Withholding sex on the second date to me, shows that you are there for another reason, to get to know the person and for him, that may have been a deal breaker, does she just want sex or is she interested in me. If she just wants sex, would she casually be like that with any guy.. A test if you would.

Call me old fashioned too : )

If he doesn't ask for another date, I would be thinking the above.

[Magnetism]

I do not understand this generation. You text back and forth, but not about the most important issue. You can ask without coming on too strong . . . just communicate. If you and he can't have this conversation, there is no future.

As for whether you should have slowed down on the second date, what would that have accomplished? You can have sex when there is no attachment but not when there can be? The second nights sex did not affect the possibility of a relationship. He came back because he liked you.

LOL, Effy... Texts are useless to me, and mean nothing. Give me the old-fashioned way of just seeing how someone acts in person or a pleasant phone-call!


To the OP-I've known quite a few relationships that have blossomed from a one-night stand, but also many situations where things didn't work out. If someone wants to get to know you, why not?