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How do you not get jealous of fun?

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  • How do you not get jealous of fun?

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long while and are very happy together. I trust him explicitly and he trusts me. I am in graduate school, working on the weekends, and pretty much only have one or two nights a week I can hang out with my bf. That being said, he has most nights off and tends to go out. It doesn't bother me that he goes out, but whenever we hang, all he wants to do is have dinner and stay at home, saying he needs to "save money." But why can he then go out every other night and have fun and sen me pictures from concerts without "saving money?" For instance, tonight, he is at a concert even though he has work at six tomorrow morning. I get so angry that he does all this "fun" stuff and then we get to cook dinner, I clean the kitchen and we watch a movie. I am so jealous that he goes out and won't do that with me. What should I do? Should I be this jealous?


  • Maybe because when he goes out with you he has to pay for two people? I honestly can't remember the last time I went out without my GF. I mean, I'll go out with others, but I'd get bored out of my mind if she were not there.

    I went to Vegas for a bachelor party weekend (without the GF) and we had two big suites. While everyone was knocked out late Friday night, I caught a plane back to LA early Saturday morning. I mean, I don't see my GF every day (and I don't go nuts if I don't see her for a few days), but I was thinking to myself that I could be with my GF for the weekend, and that the weekend was just being wasted in Vegas without her. Of course, I didn't tell her she was the reason I left Vegas early :P

    The other thing is that he may be going out to get over you while he's home alone. He may be blowing money going out so that he does not have to spend his time home alone thinking about how he wants to be with you (he can't be with you because of his work and your studying). You should talk to him about this, but don't go into the conversation expecting the worst.
    [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]


    • Have you communicated with him about this? Not in a snarky way, but to tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't want to go out when you need a break. If you have, what did he say?

      I think that he is being very self centered. He may be trying to busy himself when you are not available, as SA says, but he should not ignore your needs. With good communication,you may be able to uncover how he is feeling and why he needs to go out all of e time without you.
      "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"


      • How do I start a post? I am having a problem that I could really use some help with. Feeling stupid right now... thanks


        • Sportsgal,

          To start a new thread, go to the forum topic most appropriate to the issue you wish to raise. For example, your post here is in a thread under "Family and Relationships - Dating". To start a new thread here, at the top left where you see "Forum - Family and Relationships - Dating" click on "Dating". You will see the thread and, after the last post, lower left, you will see a button "+Post New Thread". Click on that and you are set to go.

          What I describe is as I see things on my iMac. Your computer might display things a bit differently, but not radically so.

          And welcome to WH. There are some helpful people here. I read more these days than post, but you need help with a problem, likely you'll get some direction here.
          I do not grow old; if I stop growing, I am old.



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