[atskitty2]

I thought all the things y'all are thinking. Yes, baboy, he didn't even stand outside and do this, but sat inside, swished and rinsed and then leaned out the door to spit! Wasn't anything new for him, was the thought I had.
What a confusing man... Second date was so nice and pleasant, very normal.

I've also been reflecting on some other things he said in discussion, and I just think all my first impressions were correct, he has just adapted quickly to make concessions, but the rotten underside is still there. Some troubling thoughts come to mind, much more troubling than his public cleansing ritual

[effy2014]

On the other hand . . . he does get credit for knowing what a gem you are!

[atskitty2]

Thanks effy.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As a smoker I can say, the moment I leave a building I light up, it's called habit and same after being in another venue where you can't smoke. He smokes a packet a day, in his mind I would say, like me, he'd love to give up but it's not time he has to really hate it and want to.

Spitting out the mouthwash reminds me of people chewing tobacco in America and then spitting it out into a cup.. Wonder if he does that too

People need to be 100% honest when they date. I understand not disclosing something through embarrassment but not, a blatant lie to win a date.

We as women need to always trust our gut instinct, that intuition that we were born with and go with it.

Shame though given you had such a great time and got to the third

If he was a casual smoker, as time went by you could talk it through, as a normal smoker, you'd be hitting your head against the wall.

But, a lady is a lady and should be treated as such. No man that I know of that views a woman as a lady would ever, ever, do the mouthwash and spit in front of her. D, wouldn't even pass wind for months and months in front of me, actually I recon a year.

[atskitty2]

Thanks for poking your head in here CW, nice to get your point of view.

I got a message today, asking my plans for Saturday, he invited me out. I responded with a no, and explained that I think we're incompatible.

It still puzzles me...such a classy, refined gentleman at times, then these dark shadows...
and I agree, that instinct has rarely been wrong, but I have really tried to be forgiving & give things a chance as I've ventured deeper into the dating tempest. That may prove to be wasted effort.

In hindsight, I'm thinking back to that first night and the erratic behavior. He was possibly needing a cig to deal with the nerves & just couldn't keep a handle on himself without it. I'm purely puzzled by it. Such a beautiful 2nd date, no cigs...I just don't know. Other drugs?
Regardless, there were other issues that are deal-breakers for me, there's just no point in sharing it all here.

Thanks again for the affirmation, feedback & thoughts on the matter.