[amy40]

? "whatever it is I did that was wrong".
.

Has he been married before or a little bit older?

Because that sounds exactly what a married man would say to keep the peace. Or a man who thinks he did nothing wrong in his eyes but says that to keep peace.

[atskitty2]

yes, that's what I thought.

[Ashlee T.]

I'm playing the devils advocate here, but I don't always think an apology like that is passive or rolling over so to speak. Sometimes, it takes a very mature and grounded person to say "I'm not really sure exactly what went wrong, but I'm sorry that it did." as a way to clean the slate and start new. That is how I interpreted what he said. But, I wasn't there to see his demeanor when he said it so I could be wrong.

[atskitty2]

I can also agree with you BD. In thinking more, I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing, just something to think about, as I get to know him.

[DreamP346]

I agree with BD. I am a very emotionally closed, non-confrontational person. Apologizing like that to a person I had already broken it off with and didn't have a clear go ahead to rekindle would be a huge effort. And trust me, nobody would ever, in a million years call me passive or rolling over.

[amy40]

a real apology admits one's mistake

since kitty's friend only gave a blank apology, instead of saying sorry for ______
think that is why kitty is feeling something missing

[amy40]

but not knowing the intent of your dating partner, I could be way off base
but considering the two of you had deep conversations before, it seems your reconnection didn't go as expected but maybe you'll have another chance to do so

[DreamP346]

I think this is the stereotypical case of woman wants man to recognize what he did wrong and guys says sorry but doesn't know why and doesn't understand why she's angry. Sounds like a sitcom episode.

But the reality is he doesn't know what he did wrong. Even kitty admits it was partly her fault with miscommunication. I think it is asking a lot from somebody you've only been dating a few weeks to "get you" and know what was bothering you. If you weren't very clear with him then you can't really expect him to know what the matter was. If you had clearly communicated your concerns and he still didn't get it, then that is a problem.

[atskitty2]

I wasn't expecting an apology from him at all, which was why I was so shocked when he did, let alone his opening comment. I actually thought I should be the one to apologize, if anyone. The whole thing was a misunderstanding, me taking action in haste and making assumptions. My goal for discussion was to make sure that we had an understanding of each other's reactions and responses, and get to know each other better, by learning why we did what we did.

He certainly didn't owe me an apology. I probably owed him one, which was given with the details for where I'd failed him.
My qualms are with how easily he just spit out the words...with no genuine sense of remorse-as there's nothing really to feel bad about. On the other hand, I am embarrassed and feel foolish, and couldn't wait to get it off my chest.

I intend to probe this a bit further with him, just to get a sense of where his head is . Trying not to over think here. 😃

[DreamP346]

Possible reasons he apologized:
He's messed up relationships before and believes he did it again.
He was hoping to get back into your good graces to rekindle things. He isn't truly remorseful.
He was hoping to get back into your good graces and feels that he may be the cause of the relationship breaking down. So he's making an effort.
He apologizes a lot (usually something women do but this man could do it also) without truly thinking about it.
He is trying to be a decent human being. It wasn't done to rekindle things, just to be polite