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  • amy40
    Veteran Member
    • Nov 2016
    • 2732

    when to date

    What age did you have your first real date? (as opposed to group hanging out)
    will that be age you'll allow your kids to date?

    are kids dating younger these days or about the same as when you grew up?

    age 15 for me
  • atskitty2
    Assistant Admin
    • Aug 2013
    • 4467

    Was almost 16.

    Comment

    • Stillness
      WH Poster of the Month April 2017
      • Feb 2012
      • 3679

      I had a girlfriend when I was 14. I'm pretty sure that we never went out alone, but we paired off whenever we were together. We talked on the phone close to daily and we're together exclusively for over a year.

      I don't know if that counts as "real dating" by your definition, but it was for us. It was fairly innocent, but I think we were too young for how advanced our relationship was. It caused problems for her emotionally for years because she wanted more than I did. It left me with guilt.

      I don't think there is necessarily an age, but more maturity. I don't have children, but I can't see encouraging a minor child to date, unless there were some extreme circumstances. To me, dating means you're ready to marry - emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually.
      "Those sowing seed with tears
      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

      Comment

      • RaggyDoll84
        Junior Member
        • Mar 2017
        • 7

        It depends what you mean by dating, really. I have never been on a 'date' as such (as in out with someone I wasn't in a relationship to see if there was a spark there). All of my partners have been friends with whom I decided to be more and we were a 'couple' before going out for meals, movies together etc.

        In school from about age 12 I had 'boyfriends', which consisted of hand-holding and kissing but nothing more. To be honest, in my desperation to fit in I think I got swept along with it when I wasn't ready or comfortable. I had very low self-esteem and if someone said that they liked me I felt I had to grasp the opportunity because it might not come along again. Whether or not I liked them didn't really come into it. I was probably about 14 the first time I went to the cinema with a guy alone. He was lovely and nothing physical happened at all. I think we were both very awkward and had no idea what we were doing!! It was sweet but I don't know if you would call it a real date.

        I think kids in general are just growing up too quickly in many ways these days (I know I am sounding old). They probably are dating younger than we were but with so much exposure to social media and the like I'm not really sure if there's anything that can be done to stop it. I guess there isn't much harm in meeting up with a boy from school for a game of bowling or something to eat. If it moves beyond that, though, it may become problematic emotionally from a teenager's point of view I think.

        Comment

        • amy40
          Veteran Member
          • Nov 2016
          • 2732

          Originally posted by RaggyDoll84
          It depends what you mean by dating, really. .
          as being asked out on a date .......HS going to formal dance or to a movie, etc (even if parents have to drive you both and drop you off)
          one of our parents brought us both to HS dance and I know other parents who do same, drive the two kids to movie etc and drop off

          would hope parents still have control over age kids start dating, as in giving permission

          Comment

          • Ashlee T.
            Veteran Member
            • Dec 2008
            • 6412

            Hmmm 15 or 16, I can't recall.
            "Be what you're looking for."

            Comment

            • Needytoo
              Member
              • Jul 2013
              • 40

              I was twelve years old when I started. Yikes, that was way too young. My sons are twenty-two and eighteen and as far as I know they still haven't gone on a date, I am a little bit worried.

              Comment

              • DreamP346
                • Oct 2011
                • 2053

                18 and it was because I just wasn't interested in guys before that.

                I don't have any age limit for my kids. I don't want them thinking relationships (I am talking any type) needs to be restricted with another human being. However, the sex conversation is on going in our household, but that is different. I would like my kids to date because young children are so much more comfortable just being themselves, but at they get older, they get caught up in what they should be doing, etc. If they can just be able to hang out with another person and maintain good social behaviors, be themselves and have fun, that would be awesome and I would encourage they learn that early on. Not wait until they become a humbling teenager. But I let them grow at their own pace. So if they don't show interest in dating, I'm OK with that. I also don't go about being "thankful" my daughter isn't into boys yet. I don't assume she will ever be into boys and I don't discourage her attraction to a human being. Son or daughter, they get the same treatment.
                Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                Comment

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