About a year after my divorce I met a girl (August 2016) that I really loved. It was my first relationship since the divorce and things started off fast and within a couple of months we were talking about moving in together in the summer of 2017. We both had 2 kids from previous marriages. She was planning on moving in to my house with her kids. Around January 2017 after I had some time for my logic reasoning to overriding the emotional, I realized the cost and time to finish my house to have enough space for 6 people would be difficult to meet by this summer. On top of that we'd have to buy a new vehicle to haul around 6 people. I told her I wanted to push the move in date back to the following summer to give us more time to adjust to the idea of living together but to also spread out the cost of the up front purchases we needed to make. Moving in has to be the summers not to interrupt her kids schools schedules, since her kids would be transferring schools for this move. She essentially had no savings so most of the cost would have fallen on me. After I mentioned this she was very upset, she told me she thought I was only doing this because I was trying to leave her. I talked with her and assured her that wasn't the case. After about a week she seemed back to normal. She later on told me she would wait for me and that she agreed this was the best decision. I also planned family trips for the summer and other activities that we could do as a blended family to help bridge the gap.
About 2 - 3 months after this she ended the relationship with me. She told me after pushing the moving date back she lost all trust in me and had mentally checked out of the relationship, she told me she figured that moving in would never happen. I was floored and I had no idea that she mentally checked out and was planning on breaking up with me. I asked her if this issue was so detrimental to the relationship then why didn't she tell me. She told me she didn't want to push me on the issue because she was afraid it would never happen then. She told me because I moved the date back that I wasn't ready for the relationship. I just thought this was absurd, because I thought I was doing what was best for both families. Anyway after she broke up with me I tried to get her back and said that I would hire someone to get the house done. I really loved this girl and was trying to do what I could to save the relationship. Even though the cost to do all this was a lot and would have fallen primarily on me, it was more important for me to save the relationship. I feel blown away, if I had known this was impacting her so badly I would have tried to do something but she broke up with me before I even had the chance. Was she being unreasonable or am I to blame for pushing back the move in date? I tried hard to make it right but she just tells me she can't trust me anymore.
About 2 - 3 months after this she ended the relationship with me. She told me after pushing the moving date back she lost all trust in me and had mentally checked out of the relationship, she told me she figured that moving in would never happen. I was floored and I had no idea that she mentally checked out and was planning on breaking up with me. I asked her if this issue was so detrimental to the relationship then why didn't she tell me. She told me she didn't want to push me on the issue because she was afraid it would never happen then. She told me because I moved the date back that I wasn't ready for the relationship. I just thought this was absurd, because I thought I was doing what was best for both families. Anyway after she broke up with me I tried to get her back and said that I would hire someone to get the house done. I really loved this girl and was trying to do what I could to save the relationship. Even though the cost to do all this was a lot and would have fallen primarily on me, it was more important for me to save the relationship. I feel blown away, if I had known this was impacting her so badly I would have tried to do something but she broke up with me before I even had the chance. Was she being unreasonable or am I to blame for pushing back the move in date? I tried hard to make it right but she just tells me she can't trust me anymore.
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