[Maisie Dayz]

Not for me ..... why .... because it's not marriage as I see it.
As for dating a married person, no it's just not right, no matter the circumstances. If you want to play the field, be single and have all the fun you want/need, no third party gets hurt.

[atskitty2]

Jns, I also think that's a big reason, and it's been true for me too, though I do think I've recognised that in the past year and I'm working to figure that out.

I agree about the hookup culture too.

I read an article awhile back about why my approach wasn't the best. I had understood more about what I don't want in a partner than what I DO want. It changed my thinking. It is focusing on negative rather than positive about a potential partner. I have not forgotten the things I don't necessarily want, but have tried to move that out of the forefront, and look for the things I DO want first.

I haven't dated much in the past year, but it's really changed my dating approach I think.

What I see in many others is a tendency to focus on the superficial initially and then come up lacking any real connection, months into the relationship.
I think that may be one reason why open relationships are considered after awhile.

[amy40]

I have not forgotten the things I don't necessarily want, but have tried to move that out of the forefront, and look for the things I DO want first.

that is interesting as it seems you are searching for the perfect person to meet your criteria

[Popcorn&Candy]

I wouldn't get involved in an such a situation. For me, marriage is between two people: the third person is out of the window. It is all of me and no one else. However, I am not judge and jury and other people can do whatever they want. But it is not something I'd do.

[MeLuvCookies]

I spent almost a decade when I was single as the other guy involved in other couples' open marriages and open relationship or when other couples wanted a guy that they had for threesomes and surprisingly a few open lesbian relationships where one or the other woman was bi (it was rare but more often than I would have expected going into the lifestyle) who they could know wouldn't catch feelings. This is an unpopular opinion from a guy probably but while I had fun from that side of the open marriage as the single guy getting to sleep with I can't say I ever saw a healthy open marriage that was good for both sides.

Usually one side or the other was always pushing the boundaries they had agreed upon and cheating in some way. Usually the couples supposedly agreed they would only play together. I can't speak for what the other guys were doing but almost always I played with the women by themselves as well even though that wasn't supposed to be happening. I didn't care at the time because I was a selfish 20 something guy but it taught me enough to know I could never trust any supposedly negotiated boundaries.

I actually find the term ethical non monogamy kind of annoying because I rarely found any ethics. But the idea is great in concept for couples who are mature and secure enough to discuss and negotiate and respect each other. But if those couples were the norm cheating and forums like this probably wouldn't exist.