[Texasred]

...wouldn't they realise that they can't keep up the charade forever? And they're going to lose her when he stops the act?.

Maybe it's not always a charade, maybe it's just working at being a better person, sometimes anyway. Not unlike dressing better than you usually do, or being on your best manners when there's someone you really want to impress.
I may have done that myself...

[Texasred]

it works both ways
i.e. the woman who "pretends" to love football but really doesn't

I know more than one women who have "two voices" , a sweet lilting voice for people they are trying to impress and then their real voice

Yes, it does work both ways, and there are certainly women who pretend to like a lot more than just football before they marry...

As for the two voices thing: my wife does that exactly - there's the voice she uses on the phone, then there's the voice she uses with me

[jns]

yes, popcorn and candy
heard a statistic that every 9 seconds, a women is assaulted
(don't know if that statistic is true but if so, it is shocking)

Its from the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Men are slightly more likely to be the victims of violent crime but the rate for both is about 2% a year in the USA.

[amy40]

I'd much rather be single than in such a relationship.

yes, popcorn and candy
heard a statistic that every 9 seconds, a women is assaulted
(don't know if that statistic is true but if so, it is shocking)

[Popcorn&Candy]

There are a lot of men who are all sweetness & light in a relationship but then marry and beat the wife. This sounds very cynical, but there are men who fake charm. Then the man starts to dominate the woman, where she can't even use the toilet without permission. I'd much rather be single than in such a relationship. Anyhow, this is awfully cynical but it has always happened throughout history.

[jns]

Do you think that men are making a very conscious choice in doing so?
And if so, do you have any idea why? Obviously they do it for the objective of keeping the girl (or guy, in those cases), but at some point, wouldn't they realise that they can't keep up the charade forever? And they're going to lose her when he stops the act?

Sometimes I think men aren't fully aware of their own choices in that matter. Maybe the drive with attraction is so strong they just don't realise?

I do think women do it too.

I think some men do make a conscious choice, others do not. For some, it's part of the hunt, act the part, become the character. I think that some may not think through things until an end. Others are not really interested in getting to the end, only taking part of the dance. Losing the partner if the act doesn't continue is not always a sure thing. Some become emotionally invested. Some become time invested. Maybe they will be able to accept someone who is not their close to perfect match.

[atskitty2]

Do you think that men are making a very conscious choice in doing so?
And if so, do you have any idea why? Obviously they do it for the objective of keeping the girl (or guy, in those cases), but at some point, wouldn't they realise that they can't keep up the charade forever? And they're going to lose her when he stops the act?

Sometimes I think men aren't fully aware of their own choices in that matter. Maybe the drive with attraction is so strong they just don't realise?

I do think women do it too.

[jns]

So you think men sort of fake compatible characteristics until marriage?

Some men do fake compatible characteristics. Sometimes it is only to get farther on a date, sometimes it is to get farther in a long term relationship. Sooner or later their true self will appear.

[Popcorn&Candy]

Cheesy as this sounds, it's personality that attracts me to a bloke. What he looks like doesn't matter: how he behaves, talks, presents himself to people, is what draws me in. I need an emotional connection, rather than a physical one.

[atskitty2]

Last night I remembered watching something a long time ago in which the pictures of average looking men were shown to women, with an indication of lower net worth. the same pictures were shown to other women with an indication of higher income. The women seeing the bigger dollar signs rated those same men more attractive. (Going from memory, it's been years)

I thought that was interesting and I wonder if it is the same with men, and women of greater wealth.

Wish I could find that experiment.
Thoughts anyone?