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Are his feelings for me superficial or deep?

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  • Are his feelings for me superficial or deep?

    I like a man that I think likes me too. I have known him since late last year, when we both were ending relationships. He works as a bartender and I met him by chance. When we met, I remember him looking in my eyes for a long time. Whenever I'm around him, I notice that he gives me more positive attention than other women and is interested in my life. When I told him I was going on vacation, he asked if he "could fit in my suitcase." Anyway, I would sporadically go there when he was working. One time three months ago he tried to kiss me, and I stopped him, because I didn't feel ready. I got really busy with work and school and was unable to go to the bar for three months. I was also unsure of his true feelings because I remember trying to call him and him never calling me back. So I went there a few days ago and he acted the same (flirtatious), and even brought up the fact that I "rejected" him. Then another guy that I didn't know started talking to me, and my friend noticed that the bartender got a little jealous. Then after I moved away from the guy, the bartender made joking remarks such as "He was cute, I would hook up with him" and "I'm going to send him over to you." Then later on we discussed my "rejection" of him and I told him that "that was then, this is now," and he replied, "I'm going to make you work for it." I don't know--we've never gone out and we've never seen each other outside the bar. Does he REALLY like me? And if he does, how do I go about taking this to the next level?

  • I think its a simple as he is interested in you. Maybe he likes the way you look and wants to get to know you better or maybe he likes the way you look and wants one thing. If I had to guess I would say that he is interested and wants to go out. He jokes with you and obviously remembers you even though you rejected him and left the picture for a few months. I would ask him next time you are at the bar when he gets off work and if he wants to go out. Get to know him better, go from there.


    • Superficial?


      Would it be fair to say that "animal attraction" is a usual "foreplay" to courting.

      Courting can be for sexual encounters or for relationship.

      And, deep, can this really only occur when you know each other? Personally, intimately, respectfully?

      I therefore go for the first one:- Animal attraction -

      Until he gets to know "you", you are not going to know where it will head, in all honesty as nor would he.

      As Rome wasn't built in a day, nor is a relationship......

      Deep is too deep he's flirted with you a few times, remembers you but still doesn't ..........know you..............

      If you like him - put yourself in a position for him to get to know you first, then see where it leads from there.



      • It sounds like he fancies you and he's flirting with you - which would make it superficial. I can't even begin to describe how rare it would be for you to forge a deep connection with someone that fast - all relationships start with superficial - as you can only see what's on the surface.

        Just roll with it and have fun, ask him out or whatever, and stop over analysing things. Que Sera, Sera.



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