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A question for men

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  • A question for men

    This is a question for the guys reading this forum – but I suppose women can read it as well. How do you tell a woman that you like her? As in, you like her more than just being friends together. What about the body language, is there something that you do that gives these hints to women?

    I realize that this is like breaking the rules (almost like giving information to the enemy) but I am really wondering about this and I really hope that some of you can help. There is someone in my life and I am not entirely sure is the signs or signals are there or whether I am just imaging them. Hope you guys can help!



  • Smiling works well for both genders. Nervousness can get in the way, but it itself sometimes a sign of interest.

    Comment


    • Okay... I wanna know it too. Male members of this community, please come out and speak up.
      "I make sure I do my best, because it is always worth it, no matter what you want to achieve in life."
      ANDREIA BRAZIER

      Comment


      • OMG love this question! Ok so where to start...

        I guess there are a lot of different signs/signals a guy can give that he likes you. And a lot of these signals can depend on age or level of maturity (I probably have gone through all of them myself). At the end I will provide some signals that will generally apply to guys at any age group/level.

        - Acting tough or macho around you. If you guys are young, then this could be a signal. I probably went through this in my teens lol. But if the guy is a total meathead then this behavior could persist.

        - The guy is trying very hard to be funny. Us guys get a huge rush when girls laugh at our jokes. Of course, there is the fear of the girl not finding it funny, but most guys will overcome that fear because the feeling we get when you laugh trumps the feeling of fear. Try laughing at his crappy jokes and see how he responds. If you're a bad actor, practice while looking at the mirror! Oh and very important, if the guy likes you, and sees you laughing at another guy's jokes, he will grt extremely jealous. I've been there and when we see this happen, we get super butt-hurt. So maybe torture the guy a bit, and laugh at someone else's jokes, and see how he responds hehe.

        - The guy is trying to show off (also something that is more likely to happen at a younger age). Don't always take it as a sign that the guy is full of himself. He may be a great guy that just doesn't know how to win you over. Us guys do really stupid things when we are into a female. Don't believe me? Then read my thread in the relationships forum!

        These are the more conventional signs:

        A lot of smiling
        Blushing
        He wants to see you again
        Buying new clothes
        Tries to always give you advice to fix a problem you may have shared
        Eye contact
        Checking you out
        Wants to hear more about you

        Probably the best sign is Listening

        Guys are not the best listeners, but if you notice that we are very engaged and listening, that means we are giving 150% effort. Woukdn't do that if we weren't into you. Often, if I met up again with a girl I liked, I might start the conversation with something she brought up in our last meeting. Why? Well, first, we want to show that we care. Second, because we are afraid of not having anything to talk about. I know I used to go through (in my head) all the things the girl talked about on one date so I can choose something to bring up on the follow up date incase I could not get a conversation rolling!

        Hope this helps and please excuse any typos as I typed this on an IPAD. And I hope all this made sense as I am in a huge rush but could not resist responding!
        [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

        Comment


        • I think Something Awesome has answered the question ("How do you tell a woman that you like her?") pretty well!

          Besides the obvious (expressly asking the woman out or telling her he likes her or loves her) women can look for the implicit signs such as: is the guy listening, attentive, always around and helpful?

          However it's also important for women not to lead a guy on if they're not interested in him or feeling equivocal about him.

          That said, I once attended a high school reunion where I met up with a woman who told me she was in my fan club in school and sorry I never asked her out.

          I replied that I didn't know I was in her fan club, and as far as I could recall she never let on to me that I was in her fan club.

          And believe you me I wish I did know because she was very bright and beautiful and still is....but married now.

          I told her I wish I had known because I certainly would have asked her out but she never gave me any indication that she was in anyway interested in me.

          So reading implicit signs is always a two way street for men and women (shocker that!).

          My sisters always told me that if a woman likes you she will let you know (i.e. she'll laugh at your dumb jokes and take you by the arm to bed)....otherwise leave her alone.

          I have always followed this advice at the risk of appearing passive and uninterested but it keeps me out of jail.

          Comment


          • I wanted to bump this... so hopefully we can get more men's perspectives

            Yes more tips/hints, please.

            There was a post a while back where the subject of Charming (the verb) came up. There was a guy who I was friends (mainly at work) with, but dang he really did act like all of the ideas posted here. He would go out of his way to make me laugh and smile. He'd tease and flirt. All of the co-workers and people who saw us interact thought we were married or "at least a couple" . But despite all of that and the fact that I wanted to be more than friends it never happened. I swear that not only was I reading the signs but it seemed like everyone who saw our interactions thought so as well.

            So I guess my hope is that we could get more insight to the signals - and I guess a takeaway is that even if the signals are all there, that it doesn't mean that we are reading them wrong, but maybe the signaller was "misfiring"

            (ETA, after so many signals I finally tried several times to take it outside of just work, but that is when it became clear it was not going anywhere. I didn't want it to seem like he was giving all the signals and I wasn't going to meet him half way.)

            Comment


            • Some guys can be really shy when it comes to expressing their feelings with ladies. Instead of waiting for a special sign, maybe it would be best to test the water. Something simple like going out for coffee or ice cream. Maybe go to lunch together and pay for it. If you pay for it, it creates an obligation to return the favor, at least for some of us. That creates a second round.
              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
              ...
              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Justice
                I wanted to bump this... so hopefully we can get more men's perspectives

                Yes more tips/hints, please.

                There was a post a while back where the subject of Charming (the verb) came up. There was a guy who I was friends (mainly at work) with, but dang he really did act like all of the ideas posted here. He would go out of his way to make me laugh and smile. He'd tease and flirt. All of the co-workers and people who saw us interact thought we were married or "at least a couple" . But despite all of that and the fact that I wanted to be more than friends it never happened. I swear that not only was I reading the signs but it seemed like everyone who saw our interactions thought so as well.

                So I guess my hope is that we could get more insight to the signals - and I guess a takeaway is that even if the signals are all there, that it doesn't mean that we are reading them wrong, but maybe the signaller was "misfiring"

                (ETA, after so many signals I finally tried several times to take it outside of just work, but that is when it became clear it was not going anywhere. I didn't want it to seem like he was giving all the signals and I wasn't going to meet him half way.)
                Well, some guys like the attention. Just like girls love being admired, guys do as well. I am not saying that he was not into you, but he may have been acting the way he was with you because he got off on you being interested in him. It's reassuring. There could be other explanations as well.

                Back in the day, there was a girl that I liked very much, and she liked me too. We'd flirt with each other and behave in a manner that I am sure was pretty close to how you and your friend were. However, I never tried to take it to the next level, and if she tried to, I'd push her away. Why? Because she was of a different ethnicity and I knew my family would not approve. Wanted to be with her really bad and enjoyed her attention. Fast forward to day and I am with someone else, who does not share the same ethnicity as me anyway. Heh, turns out you are less willing to be a strict parent-please as you get older and become more independent lol. I say this story to illustrate that it may not be as simple as "he just got off on being admired," though it often is.

                Hope that helps.
                [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                Comment


                • Thanks something to think about.

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                  • Oh another is if the guy mentions he works out. He may be a regular gym goer, or may have just started going. Either way, if we bring it up, we are looking for your approval. It is stupid I know, but we may often look for a reason to bring it up. And I get that women probably don't care, but I did this once. Yeah... sooooo not smooth lol... I've seen a lot of guys do this one a lot and I overheard a guy use this line today.

                    Now if he just started going to the gym, then he's working out for YOU. You got him right where you want him.
                    [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                    Comment


                    • Well,

                      Before you've gone out on a date, assuming you are working together or in a situation where you may bump into each other. We will go out of our way to accidentally bump into you or talk to you etc. We will joke with you, smile, flirt etc. And of course listen. We generally don't listen to people we're not that interested in. You know, try and find common ground. And obviously, if a guy asks you out then he wants to know more.

                      On a date, some guys will try and be a gentleman, some will just joke and play with you, all guys will look deeply into your eyes, will listen to you, try and touch you, hold your hand etc. and obviously, kiss you.

                      If he doesn't kiss you well he could be really shy, but if his demeanour is very relaxed, confident, charming etc. and he doesn't kiss you, he's probably not that interested.

                      After a few dates, if it's moving towards something a little more defined, he will take a far more active interest in your life try and see you often, care about what's going on in your life and spend on you. Now importantly, I'm not just talking about money, some guys will spend money on girls they have no interest on and on girls they are interested in, but if a guys is spending their time and or energy on you, for example thinking up interesting dates, thinking of things you may like, checking in on you if he know's something important is going on in your life etc, then he's interested. I certainly would never be overly creative if I wasn't that interested in something more long term with a girl.

                      ;-)

                      Comment


                      • The thing is if you afraid of rejection then you already lost her and if she reject you then move on there is millions woman in the world and if you want to make her attract to you there is some rule and methods you have to follow.

                        I will reply this again and depends on you if you really want it and right now i'm little busy.
                        Blood Group : B+! Not a feminist, because I believe in gender equality. Not an atheist, because I believe in myself. Not a forum VIP, because my answers are still good.

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