[Alison H.]

I haven’t been in the dating game for 20 years so I have no experience with dating apps.

That said, I wonder if it could be a trust or fear issue - due TO the pandemic.

You mentioned how you had people in your dating “bubble” but for folks who are just active on these apps in general, they may feel the need to be more aloof right now.

While people can have a virtual relationship for a while, at some point one person or both people are probably going to want to meet. But that’s potentially an issue given the situation we are all in. For those dating virtually, neither person really knows who the other has been in contact with. So is it better to keep everyone at arm’s length or risk getting close to someone you may or may not get to meet in person (or having one person get hurt because the other doesn’t want to)?

And then if a couple does put a lot of effort into maintaining a virtual relationship for a long time, they run the risk of not being a good fit in person - after months have passed.

And the most pessimistic part - what if someone gets close to another person...only to have them die. This could be a concern for some app users.

There are a number of different factors that might be weighing on folks using dating apps right now and keeping them from taking anything seriously. These are just guesses.

[JonnyR]

atskitty2 Actually come to think of it, I have not met anyone new in the last 5-6 months or so, but before that was consistently seeing 2 people that I had already known before all of this went down.

Those have since ended, so yeah, I guess it's been a bit of a dry stretch...

However, with that being said, I've gone through periods before without meeting anyone, but there were always a lot more matches to choose from and a lot better reception.

The pandemic has certainly created apathy, fear, hesitance and despair I think as a lot of folks either arent really trying too hard, or as you said, in weaker moments, poking in without any real intention. I bet in their mind they're just passing the time until "this is all over"...so they don't really devote too much time or energy to anything.

And of course, ultimately I agree with you -- I am on your same wavelength: I want to meet ASAP. No f-ing around! It goes like this for me typically:

- Match on app
- Exchange a few messages, hopefully, interesting and leading to deeper questions vs. "hey..."
- Get on a phone call ASAP (I call this the phone screen! and I usually weed out 50% or more just with this alone...)
- If they pass the phone screen, I set up a date IMMEDIATELY (within a few days at most)

I agree -- we've got no time to waste, and i have a saying: You're either moving forward, or you're moving on.

So, you are probably right -- some folks are just so intimidated by what is doing on, they don't trust anyone or don't want to take a chance, so there is no hope of meeting in person, so why bother.

I see it the other way -- we can always socially distance in a park, or open space with our masks on and still see each other in person...but perhaps I am too open to that and most aren't and I should just close up shop for a better time.

Winter is here...but spring, is just around the corner.

[atskitty2]

If I were still in the game, I certainly wouldn't be meeting dudes outdoors with masks on. I learn as much from the facial expressions, and eyes, as I do anything else. Even tho' you can see a person's eyes with a mask on, you can't really see the expression of their eyes and their face. That just wouldn't work for me.

I took lots of long breaks from dating, and I have no doubt this would be break time for me. I divorced in 2012, coupled up early in 2019. I was *not* dating more of that time, than I was dating. I think breaks are good, if that time is used for self-improvement and productivity. Dating can be fun, but it can also be very scary for women, and exhausting at times.

[JonnyR]

Dating is exhausting for all of us atskitty2 at different times, for different reasons unique to our genders and sexual preferences...there's good and bad with everything...

[DoggoLover]

atskitty2, that makes total sense to me and I feel the same way; I want to date right now, but I'm not willing to meet up with anyone in-person for safety reasons, and because part of getting to know someone involves being able to talk comfortably for extended periods of time. During the winter especially, I think it'd be hard to meet outdoors for too long.

You're right that there's always some sort of challenge, though, JonnyR, no matter when you're dating.

[atskitty2]

JonnyR and Emily D. Things have certainly started to calm down here in my area, and businesses are opening up again. I was wondering if you are noticing that the dating prospects are getting better? We were at a local brewery in a neighboring city last weekend, and we saw some couples that appeared to be on first dates, or "early in relationship" dates. It was something we'd not seen in our people-watching adventures for quite some time.

How are things going? My friend that uses online dating reports that there's an uptick in new faces to swipe on.
???????Are you finding the same in your area?

[Emily D.]

atskitty2 hey! So, things are slowly starting to become a little more normal in my area, but I think a lot of people are still kind of limited as far as dating activities. I know for me, I have to sort of be careful with what I do/where I go since I'm immunocompromised, so I personally probably wouldn't feel comfortable meeting someone new until I've been vaccinated and the rest of my family has, too.

That said, I know a few friends who've been talking to some people on dating apps are definitely more willing to go out and meet, especially on days where the weather is nice and they can meet outside! I also went to an outdoor mall the other day and saw a couple that seemed kind of like they were in the beginning stages of their relationship, too. I will say that meeting in a pandemic is a good way to learn about what's important to another person!

I'm hoping by spring or summer (or fall, lol), things will be more "normal" (aka, more like they were pre-COVID)!

[JonnyR]

atskitty2 There does seem to be a slight uptick around these parts...not a huge deluge mind you, but perhaps a turning of the tide -- steadily and surely, but slowly.

It certainly couldn't get any worse, so any uptick is appreciated! LOL...I'll keep you posted and thanks for checking in! I think lots of folks are jonesing to get outside, to get laid, and to get going! It's time....

[atskitty2]

Good! Glad you both are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel also.