[Shayna]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. We were friends with "some benefits" I guess you could say for a year before.
It took several months into becoming official to finally have sex, so we never really had that I want you all the time phase. We fooled around occasionally, cuddled etc, seemingly more before becoming official, but no penetration.
He always seemed interested in sex in general (loves titties, talking about how fun etc), would grab my *** and t*ts and seemed interested, and his reasonings for not doing it seemed like he just wanted to take it slow, etc.
Now here we are, almost a year in, and still only having done it a handful of times. This all while I have the sex drive of a rabbit but have tried to be patient because he was worth it in other aspects and I thought it was just taking slow.
It's still confusing because he'll initiate and we'll get pretty well started and then he'll just stop it out of nowhere and walk away.
Last talk about it he claimed low libido(he's in his late 40s). He got mad at me for being upset because he got me turned on and walked away. I would think it natural to be upset, especially considering my sex drive and how much I go without.
all this leaves me with so many questions Is he honestly just asexual? If he is why "advertise" interest
Does it make me messed up that not getting it is so upsetting?
am I just totally unattractive to him?
How is this relationship going to work? He sees no reason to change it, I've read about people doing open relationship to deal with it but don't know if I could and don't think he'd be agreeable to it anyway
He is great to me in many other ways, honestly if I wasn't so hung up over the lack of sex we'd probably have an amazing relationship all around. It was actually nice in the beginning to have a guy interested, not wanting to jump strait in my pants. But I'm young ish, still want to be desired and don't want to be a nun early on.
Sorry it's kind of scattered. I'm kind of scattered haha
?????

[EmptyNester]

You need to be up front with your sexual needs. Sex (lack of it) is a legit reason to end a relationship. If he has some underlying health issues, those can be dealt with. Like all relationships, communication is key. It all starts with you telling him you need sex regularly, not sporadically.

[amy40]

if he's in his late 40s, maybe he could check with his Dr?

[atskitty2]

Sexual compatibility is an important part of relationships. You're not "messed up" for being upset about your needs not being met. Mismatched libido is a deal-breaker for many people.
First question is, has he always had this same general desire for sex? Or has it diminished for him over the years?
Are you living together?

I don't think this is asexuality, and I don't think it's because he is not attracted to you. It seems like he's just less interested in sexual expression than you are, other than these teasing and playful gestures.

I'm curious, what is your response when you're in the middle of foreplay and he just stops and walks away, as you described? This is an extremely insensitive move on his part, and I'm really interested to know what you do/say when he does this. What does he say? Is he losing his erection? Or is he just losing his desire to continue and complete the act?

I think, as others mentioned, the first thing is for him to get a full physical exam, have his hormones checked and mention to the doctor, especially IF this is a change in libido.

Bottom line is, you two need to have an open, honest discussion about your sex life. Get it all out in the open now, before this relationship develops any more, and it becomes more difficult to change these patterns.