[Clairxx88]

This guy and I dated during the summer, but we weren't getting along. So we stopped dating and were friends with benefits for a month. he said it was over between us and that he did not want to be intimate anymore. It ended in January because, again, we were not getting along.

Recently, he and the guy had been texting. He told me he had a "spicy" dream about me. And I asked him if he wanted to have casual sex with me. He said, "That's a complicated question," and he asked me out for a casual lunch. But he said he was ok with casual as long as it's just casual.

We went to lunch yesterday he didn't mention anything about sex. He did glance down at my breasts a few times. But probably because my bra was showing as the dress I wore was too big (I've been losing weight). After lunch, he told me it was nice to see me and hugged me. I hugged him back but didn't say anything. He then texted me later, saying it was nice seeing me today. I did reply that time via text. I'm surprised he didn't mention anything sexual. He told me via text (before we met) that he was ok with casual as long as it was just casual. During lunch, he asked me how I've been doing, etc. I mentioned that I needed to find an outdoor sport to do during the summer. He also mentioned pickleball (which is a sport that he enjoys and likes to play). He knows I have never played it before, so I'm not sure why he mentioned it. Anyway, it was just odd. I was expecting him to say something sexual.
I don't get it he said he was ok with casual, talked about how he had a sex dream about me. But did not mention anything sexual when we met for lunch.

[jns]

This guy and I dated during the summer, but we weren't getting along. So we stopped dating and were friends with benefits for a month. he said it was over between us and that he did not want to be intimate anymore. It ended in January because, again, we were not getting along.

Recently, he and the guy had been texting. He told me he had a "spicy" dream about me. And I asked him if he wanted to have casual sex with me. He said, "That's a complicated question," and he asked me out for a casual lunch. But he said he was ok with casual as long as it's just casual.

We went to lunch yesterday he didn't mention anything about sex. He did glance down at my breasts a few times. But probably because my bra was showing as the dress I wore was too big (I've been losing weight). After lunch, he told me it was nice to see me and hugged me. I hugged him back but didn't say anything. He then texted me later, saying it was nice seeing me today. I did reply that time via text. I'm surprised he didn't mention anything sexual. He told me via text (before we met) that he was ok with casual as long as it was just casual. During lunch, he asked me how I've been doing, etc. I mentioned that I needed to find an outdoor sport to do during the summer. He also mentioned pickleball (which is a sport that he enjoys and likes to play). He knows I have never played it before, so I'm not sure why he mentioned it. Anyway, it was just odd. I was expecting him to say something sexual.
I don't get it he said he was ok with casual, talked about how he had a sex dream about me. But did not mention anything sexual when we met for lunch.

Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. Something in the "we weren't getting along" is the reason why he doesn't want to take the relationship back to a dating one. The friends with benefits relationship tells me that he finds you physically attractive. The spicy dream tells me that he hasn't been having sex regularly (I never had one when I was having sex regularly) and his mind was going through what if scenarios while he was asleep. It also reinforces the idea that he finds you physically attractive. I have the feeling that he is afraid that if he is with you too much in a non casual way, he will want to go back to a deeper relationship that he knows will not work.

[Clairxx88]

Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. Something in the "we weren't getting along" is the reason why he doesn't want to take the relationship back to a dating one. The friends with benefits relationship tells me that he finds you physically attractive. The spicy dream tells me that he hasn't been having sex regularly (I never had one when I was having sex regularly) and his mind was going through what if scenarios while he was asleep. It also reinforces the idea that he finds you physically attractive. I have the feeling that he is afraid that if he is with you too much in a non casual way, he will want to go back to a deeper relationship that he knows will not work.

Just because it didn't work the last time doesn't mean it couldn't work out. I didn't trust him before but interacting with him in a friendly way allowed me to see how he interacts with his female friends and women in general. And I feel bad for not trusting him before.

[jns]

Just because it didn't work the last time doesn't mean it couldn't work out. I didn't trust him before but interacting with him in a friendly way allowed me to see how he interacts with his female friends and women in general. And I feel bad for not trusting him before.

It is true that it could work out this time or in the future. Sometimes enough contact will lessen or get rid of the reservations. Have you talked with him to find out what the situation with him is? I know that the situation is not ideal at this time because the relationship isn't as close as it was but I am not sure that a better time will come along.

[Clairxx88]

It is true that it could work out this time or in the future. Sometimes enough contact will lessen or get rid of the reservations. Have you talked with him to find out what the situation with him is? I know that the situation is not ideal at this time because the relationship isn't as close as it was but I am not sure that a better time will come along.

I told him that spending time with him in a friendly way allowed me to see how he treats his female friends and women in general. And that, honestly, I feel bad for treating him badly and not trusting him before. He didn't say anything, but he liked my comment. When I told him I wanted to play pickleball this summer (this is something that he likes) he liked my comment.

[Wednesday L.F.]

That sounds promising!

[Clairxx88]

He sent me another text today saying Happy Friday, telling me to have a nice weekend.

[atskitty2]

Welcome! Glad you're here, and hope you'll continue to hang out with us here!

Tell me more about what you mean by "not getting along". From what you say in your OP and your follow-up comments, it sounds like you have some trust issues and maybe had some expectations that were unrealistic? Is that a fair take-away?

And now that you have seen a different side of him, you think maybe your first impressions, or maybe your pre-conceived notions, were wrong? Is this also a fair synopsis of what's going on?

Depending on the answer to those, I think, for now, wait it out. Patience. Hang back and let him sit with this for a minute and make up his mind. It's ok to stay friendly, but avoid over-stepping. Let him make up his mind. You've made your willingness known. The ball is in his court. Because, if I'm correct, you've likely left a rough impression of what it would be like to be in a relationship with you, as you behaved previously. So, he will need some assurance that that isn't going to be as unpleasant as it was before. He needs time to decide if he wants to take that chance.

[Wednesday L.F.]

He sent me another text today saying Happy Friday, telling me to have a nice weekend.

Cool!

[Clairxx88]

He asked me if I wanted to do something for our birthday tomorrow, we are going out again tomorrow.