[lovemyself1]

so i have been dating this guy for a few months, and i really do like him. the problem is we havent talked in about a week. i've called him, txted him, stopped by his house (only once..i'm not a stalker) he wasnt home either. he left my house tuesday morning and we didnt speak since. i dont know if i did something or what. i guess i'm wondering if i should persue him to get some closure and find out if i did do something wrong, or just let it go...delete his number and him from my life.

i'm angry and want to let him know how big of an *** he is being, and that he has no respect for me.

its hard to just let go...i'm constantly wondering what the heck happened.

what do you think i should do??

[withered_rose]

I think that you should just let it go, so he is being a jerk, let him be a jerk. my guess is that he just wanted one thing and when he got it he was done. I am sorry if it sounds a little mean but that's the way that I see it at the moment. I have had that happen a few times to me so I know how it all goes. But all in all I wish you the best of luck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Did you tell him that you were not sure if you were in love with him, but liked him a lot?

Or, have you been perhaps making him feel that..

I recall that he said those words to you a few weeks ago..

Perhaps he feels that he is going to get hurt, or that you are more a "friend" and not into him.

How did Tuesday end on a good note?

Hopefully, nothing has happened though, as you've called, dropped by assuming he lives by himself? As he hasn't answered and wasn't at home.

But, if you have in deed shown affection and just won't say the L word but he knows that you are keen, then that's plane ignorance and guttless...

Just can't work out why he said he loved you and then acts this way.

CW

[lovemyself1]

Did you tell him that you were not sure if you were in love with him, but liked him a lot?

Or, have you been perhaps making him feel that..

I recall that he said those words to you a few weeks ago..

Perhaps he feels that he is going to get hurt, or that you are more a "friend" and not into him.

How did Tuesday end on a good note?

Hopefully, nothing has happened though, as you've called, dropped by assuming he lives by himself? As he hasn't answered and wasn't at home.

But, if you have in deed shown affection and just won't say the L word but he knows that you are keen, then that's plane ignorance and guttless...

Just can't work out why he said he loved you and then acts this way.




he knows how i feel about him. i made that very clear. things did end on a good not on tuesday...he left for work at 545 am like normal. nothing unusual.

he does live alone and i know he's alive and well cuz i saw his truck at work.

the thing that is so confusing is that i know he cared for me as well.

like i said before...i'm angry and want to let him have a piece of my mind! but should i let him know i'm hurting?? or will that backfire? or do i just try my hardest to push everything out of my mind? but i am hurt...
i know as women we want closure when any relationship/friendship goes bad, its just our nature.
would i look like a psycho b*tch if i showed up at his place when i know he would be home (before bedtime) and told him "i thought that you cared about me, so why would you treat me this way? did i do something wrong? if not then you are a pathetic, imature boy that has no idea how to be in a respectful relationship. if you got tired of me then be a man and break it off in person."
whadya think?

[lovemyself1]

Did you tell him that you were not sure if you were in love with him, but liked him a lot?

Or, have you been perhaps making him feel that..

I recall that he said those words to you a few weeks ago..

Perhaps he feels that he is going to get hurt, or that you are more a "friend" and not into him.

How did Tuesday end on a good note?

Hopefully, nothing has happened though, as you've called, dropped by assuming he lives by himself? As he hasn't answered and wasn't at home.

But, if you have in deed shown affection and just won't say the L word but he knows that you are keen, then that's plane ignorance and guttless...

Just can't work out why he said he loved you and then acts this way.

CW

sorry for the double post, but i'm very cautious with the L word cuz i thing people ust throw it around when they dont mean it. i want to be sure when i say it as i want him to be sure he means it when he says it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

lovemyself1
imature boy that has no idea how to be in a respectful relationship

If you made it evident that you "care" and he said " i love you " a few weeks before, he was lying, wanting more? sexually?

I don't know sweet.

Don't degrade yourself, you are better than that, sure you want closure to speak your mind, send him a text, saying "whimp' that is all i have to say... and move on xx

[WildChild]

Get a hold of a copy of Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus, I suppose it's getting to be an oldie but it's a goodie. What's going on with him, only he knows, or maybe not. But men don't see things or react quite the way we do. He may actually be busy and think all is great, he may need some space, he could be feeling a bit committed and needs to back off to decide if he wants to be there. He could be stressed and need some cave time. You don't know and pushing, stressing and showing neediness won't help. Give him a few days and then call and invite him to do something non-threatening, a fall picnic, watch a movie, help you hang a couple curtain rods and see what happens. In the meantime keep yourself engaged and doing interesting things. You are the only person in this relationship that you can control, so give yoursef permission to have fun without him, you'll be more interesting, more relaxed and easier to approach.

[Guest]

sigh..... some guys get scared too when it get intense. maybe a text something like "I hope you are doing well, let me know if you'd like to talk". coming on too strong may just push him away if he's already shy about moving ahead. who knows?

[lovemyself1]

Get a hold of a copy of Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus, I suppose it's getting to be an oldie but it's a goodie. What's going on with him, only he knows, or maybe not. But men don't see things or react quite the way we do. He may actually be busy and think all is great, he may need some space, he could be feeling a bit committed and needs to back off to decide if he wants to be there. He could be stressed and need some cave time. You don't know and pushing, stressing and showing neediness won't help. Give him a few days and then call and invite him to do something non-threatening, a fall picnic, watch a movie, help you hang a couple curtain rods and see what happens. In the meantime keep yourself engaged and doing interesting things. You are the only person in this relationship that you can control, so give yoursef permission to have fun without him, you'll be more interesting, more relaxed and easier to approach.

great advise wildchild!! i have no problem if he needs cave time, but what's so wrong with just letting me know he needs some space instead of COMPLETELY ignoring me and any attempt i make to just say 'HI'. i guess i will give it a few more days, and do what you said, just say "hi, hope all is well, give me a shout sometime." i will let you all know how it goes.

thanks to all of you for the wonderful advise and confidence boosters.

[sTyLeRock]

Hi Lovemyself1,

Can i ask what is his personality like?

I am more of the shy sensual type and i hate to admit but there have been a couple times where i've ignored a girl, just because i don't know what to say, do or what i want.

i would say in this situation though invite him out to a group gathering (feels neutral) and see what happens, like "me and my friends are going down to the pub for some drinks do you and your mates wanna tag along?"

and then gauge his actions that night, i mean depending on the person he is the more you push the more he might pull away, this is just one method that sets neutral ground to acleast get in contact with each other and see whats going on.

Just my 0.02c
-Daniel