[st_simon]

i just found out yesterday that my boyfriend of one year masturbated to nude and lingerie pics of his ex girlfriend of 3 years. he has assured me so many times since he told me about her that he is over her, but then he does that!!!

i told him from the start that the one single thing that i cannot stand is cheating. even though it isn't necessarily cheating, it's still hurts so bad. i can't stop thinking about it! it hurts

at least he told me, but i still dont know what to do. i love him so much and i want to be with him, but i dont know if i can trust him. please help!!!

[rcoreyus]

Well he is with you not her. I can understand your being angry, but I doubt the pictures mean anything important to him - they are just a form of porn.

So, you have every right to be angry - but it may not mean he doesn't really love you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think that because he told you personally, then you have nothing to worry about.

It probably is habit, more than anything else, he probably used to do it, to that photo when he was with her.

Why not replace it, get a sexy shot done of yourself and say "here babe", better the devil you know" now can I help you there further?

I always counterout negativity with positivity.

CW

[Guest]

Why not replace it, get a sexy shot done of yourself and say "here babe", better the devil you know" now can I help you there further?

I always counterout negativity with positivity.
CW

You are so good CW Cute!!

[st_simon]

I think that because he told you personally, then you have nothing to worry about.

It probably is habit, more than anything else, he probably used to do it, to that photo when he was with her.

Why not replace it, get a sexy shot done of yourself and say "here babe", better the devil you know" now can I help you there further?

I always counterout negativity with positivity.

CW

it's such a great idea, and it sounds like a happy ending, but i guess i'm just not like that. i mean i have my moments, but it's not like me, i'm afraid he'd be alarmed like "weird...that's totally not like her...." i dunno

i feel like maybe i'm just complicating it more than i should, but i'm such a sensitive person, it's really hard

[WildChild]

CWs suggestion is a good one. It's a form of conditoning, when he gets horny, when he's 'handling' things on his own, what do you want him thinking? From what I understand of this with men, who the pics are isn't usually all that important - they simply either provide the stimulus or not. But since you are his lady now, why not let it be you who is the source of satisfaction in person or photo?

[Coraline]

I'm pretty sure that if you ask him nicely to lock away or even delete the photos of the ex he wouldn't have a problem doing it. After all there are tons of porn from professionals out there if he feels he needs some.

[thack]

As a guy who got some "special" photos from my significant other (during better times, long story)

I have to say, compared to regular porn, getting pictures of the woman that I am with is that much more of a turn on, because in MY mind, I was like:

"I really know this woman, and she must care about me to take such a riskay pic to help me get turned on when she's not in the mood or available"

My X had a serious problem with porn, not like I was addicted to it or anything, but deploying gets long, and without pics of MY girl back home, some sort of stimulus was nice. Much like said above, its not about WHO is in the picture unless! its the woman that I AM WITH right now, thats more of a turn on than any professional picture / movie by far!

And if he's looking at porn to help himself along, I think he would appreciate a gesture like this, a lot, and it could turn into something fun for the two of you.

who knows <shrug> :P

Best of luck to ya

[CHANDLERS WISH]

it's such a great idea, and it sounds like a happy ending, but i guess i'm just not like that. i mean i have my moments, but it's not like me, i'm afraid he'd be alarmed like "weird...that's totally not like her...." i dunno

i feel like maybe i'm just complicating it more than i should, but i'm such a sensitive person, it's really hard

Probably, THE reason why he is with you, not her.

He knows "your not like that" but what is "like that?"..

This is your man, whom you are with, you don't have to be tarty with it, just have fun with it, and not naked, rather seductively dressed, in a sweet kind of way, if you want.

The bottom line is you are showing him that "he is your man and you love him and you would rather he looked at you", he will find that a loving endearing thing to do, not a tarty one...

CW

[crzyredhead21]

CW! Tarty one?! I LOVE it! I must remember to use that! LOL... sorry. No advice on this one. I'm a little too risque for most of my sig others. Standard issue with the red hair.