[shweedart]

It's so frustrating, my parents wont let my boyfriend stay in the same bed as me. I know their just being parents but its so annoying they wont even hear me out.

My mum was pregnant at 15 so i can understand her not wanting me to make the same mistakes...but I'm 17 and use both condoms and the pill...And there's no chance i'll be making that mistake!
I've been with him nearly 11 months now, they know we sleep in the same bed at his house, i've already been on holiday with him and his family this year and me and my bf have a booked a weekend away. They know full well we share a bed on a pretty regular basis!

Also

My bfs sister was pregnant at 16 and is now a single mum so he knows how much trouble she went through and he'd put me through it. His mum and dad trust us enough to share a bed, I just wish mine did It's easy to think that it's an excuse but when I ask if he can sleep, it really is just sleep!


A reason I asked again a few days ago was because he'd already fallen asleep while we were watching a film and I really didn't want him driving home tired, Nor do I like waking him up! He looks so peaceful and cute haha


My bf gets really disheartened when they just give a blunt 'NO' he's started to think they don't like him!



They're all for pressuring me into driving, working and university! All the things that suit them! But when it comes letting me actually growing up, its a big no no.


Grr it makes me angry and sad

[shweedart]

and he'd WOULDN'T put me through it.

forgot a key word there!

[rcoreyus]

As you get older, 17 seems younger and younger. To me (mid 40s), 17 year olds seem like kids. But - I remember being 17 and thinking I was an adult.

I can understand how your parents feel - I don't agree with them, but I understand.

[Little]

Now, I KNOW you're legal in England, but my American Puritanical roots are coming out here ... but my reaction is "of course they won't let you sleep in the same bed! You're 17, not to mention their baby girl!"
Okay, for perspective, we all know I'm 20, my boyfriend's 23, he's in the military, ergo lives on his own in his own place when he's not shipwrecked in the middle of the desert But his parents live in the next town over from me, and when he's "home" on leave, that's where he stays. His parents are not dumb; though we don't say a word about it, they must know we sleep in the same bed when we're at my or his place. But at theirs, we certainly do not. Those are the "rules" of their house, and as guests we don't question them. You're a member of your household and not a guest, so while that makes it slightly different, it doesn't change much ... your parents have "put together" this household, so to speak, and they deserve to be able to lay down their own rules. They deserve to have the peace of mind that in their house at least, their little girl is still a little girl.
As cliché as it sounds, when you make your own household you will have earned the right to make your own rules, but as long as you're under your parents' roof, you have to obey theirs.
Just wondering, what's the age of legal emancipation in the UK? We've established that sexually you're no longer a minor at 16, but what about other legal rights that default to parents?

[WildChild]

Little has made some good points. Some parent don't have a problem with this and some do, It's their house. In my family when my nephew and his now wife visited grandpa and grandma they called his mom (their daughter) to ask if it was ok to put them in the same room. It's just having respect for other people's rules.

[shweedart]

My sister left college at just turned 18, then almost instantly started dating her teacher who's 11 years older than her. She was living between houses (ours and his) then the first night he stayed here they were int he same bed and that was before they got engaged!

I see more wrong in that then letting my boyfriend share a bed with me

[anonymouswhitefemale]

It's not really suprising. My parent's wouldn't have given a hoot, but I guess they're a bit progressive.

Why not just let them know that you regularly have sex... For example:

"Can Dave stay over tonight?"
"No, silly girl"
"Oh well, at least we already had sex in the park"

[Guest]

shweedart,

I know you don't agree, and see hypocrisy in the position your parents have with you and your sister.

Just a suggestion, whichever one is easier to talk with, get them alone some day and ask.

Maybe it's because of what your sister has done they are a little more strict with you.

Maybe because she's over 18 and already out of the house, while you are 17 and still living at home.

Maybe because you are the youngest and letting go of the last one (especially a baby girl) is oh so very hard to do.

Maybe just because, and there is no reason. Us parents have the right to make arbitrary decisions.

Probably because they love you and think it's the right thing to do.


Ant

[Guest]

My mum was pregnant at 15 so i can understand her not wanting me to make the same mistakes...but I'm 17 and use both condoms and the pill...And there's no chance i'll be making that mistake!

Dear shweedart, please understand even tho you are making all the precautions, there is still a chance it could happen, the old saying "things happen", it's not impossible, altho not probable.
Your Mum I believe luvs you and there's a good chance she doesn't want you to start a early family without 1st having your ducks in a row. She wants the best for you, she wants you to have what she probably did not have and that's some space to Live a little before starting a family.
I have a 20 yr. old daughter that lives at home and I hold the same rule - She understands it's the Rules. Remember it won't be very long and you'll be doing exactly as you please, right?

My bf gets really disheartened when they just give a blunt 'NO' he's started to think they don't like him!

If they don't show any other grief other than minor infractions - He would do himself a favor if he shows respect towards their decision ( I'm not saying he don't) I don't know, but it's not him it's anybody that you would be with, correct? Too, it's like N01 said you are their baby girl, I can related to that, I still call mine my baby girl, she always will be. It makes it easier on me when she doesn't give me any grief about the rules.

They're all for pressuring me into driving, working and university! All the things that suit them!

Yes they are looking forward to seeing you make them proud of you, is that not natural?
But really, in the end, you will be the 1 who benefits from all the drive and education

... your parents have "put together" this household, so to speak, and they deserve to be able to lay down their own rules. They deserve to have the peace of mind that in their house at least, their little girl is still a little girl.

Peace of mind not only for them, but in the end when you are gone you will have peace of mind also
I too understand your frustration about the seemingly hypocrisy, with the treatment of your sister and all, so maybe like "N01" said you could talk to them about it at least to get it out on the table.

We truly do wish the best for you too! Good Luck in all you do!

[Guest]

LOOK!

My bf gets really disheartened when they just give a blunt 'NO' he's started to think they don't like him!

No one will ever be good enough for you in their eyes!

Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

They love you, cut them some slack for doing what you'll probably be doing in a few years. Loving and worrying about their baby.