[beatlesbabe97]

Ok I'm not sure how to explain the situation I am in but I am gonna try my best. I have a friends with benefits type of relationship going on with a guy that I met over the summer. It has been kind of a casual thing and I was very content with the way things were going, I didn't want a relationship at the time and neither did he. But recently we talked about what was going on between us and he suggested that we continue what we had but really work on getting to know one another. I thought that all sounded good so I agreed and we are still seeing each other and he insists that he wants to spend time with me but anytime I suggest we do something he has something else going on. I am not sure how to feel about this. I really want the "thing" we have now to continue but he is really sending me mixed signals and I do not know how to respond to these. I like what we have but I am starting to feel like he is just telling me what he thinks i want to hear. Please tell me what you think...sorry if the whole thing is a little incoherent.

[sTyLeRock]

hmm

well you don't want things to change so keep this at the back of your mind,

now unless you want something more then i see that there is a problem.

he might be telling you what you want to hear but does it really matter if that's the fact as long as things are staying casual and the way you want it?

[silvertae]

I'd say stop trying to make plans with him. It might just fizzle out. If he really wants to spend time with you he'll make the effort.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

If you feel this way then there must be a reason why you do... " he is saying things just to please me"..

Have you recently, made any conversation in this regard or shown that you don't quite feel just like a "buddy" anymore, something to make him feel that he better tell you a few things to make you feel a bit better about it so that it continues?

If not, maybe as it hasn't been going on for too long, he is the one starting to feel "used" or he has felt that he wants to find out more and be around a bit purely to see if you are going to hangaround or dump him soon for someone else, sexually, the fact therefore that you said yes, means to him, that you like him, so you will hang around longer.

So i agree with Silvertae in that regard... "treat him mean" to a degree and make him come to you then....

CW

[beatlesbabe97]

Thanks for all of the suggestions...i think i am really just over thinking the whole situation...i just need to let things go in a natural direction and if it was meant to be i guess things will work out and if it wasnt then they wont

[WildChild]

That's good thinking BBabe. I'm dealing with some of that too, moved, met and fell for someone, another 'summer romance', now it's fall I'm dealing with work problems, legal and health issues and I get dumped. It hurts but it's life. Taking time to think things over and give it time is a good idea. I'm guessing you are young there is plenty of time to see what develops. For myself I think it will be a long time out, I'm getting too old for this. Yikes! did I say that? Let's just say I'm feeling worn out. You've got all the optimism of youth on your side, give it time.

[beatlesbabe97]

Going Crazy

Well I can't seem to stop thinking about this whole situation. I talk to him on a pretty regular basis because he works for the local minor league baseball team and I am a season ticket holder. He happens to be my ticket representative. But I will admit, when I am feeling board or slightly stressed from school I will call and talk to him. I find dumb questions to ask about the tickets, and just other random things. When we chat on the phone he is will to talk and we joke and laugh, conversations stay "G-rated" because he is at work. But when we are together we just kind of hang out the line of communication isn't really open. Which wasn't a problem because we just had something that i figured wouldn't amount to anything, one of those I hope its good while it lasts. Anyway I am having trouble figuring out my exact feelings for him, and I have some major trust issues so I am terrified that if I open up to him everything that we have is gonna come crashing to the ground. I know that I have feelings for him, but i just don't know what to do. Basically when I am around him I get the whole butterflies in my stomach feeling and I love to talk to him on the phone because I love to hear his voice.

I guess what I really need is advice on whether or not I should open up to him. Should I tell him how I am feeling now or should I wait until I have my feelings completely figured out? (don't know if that will ever happen) Any advice is welcome. I would really like to hear what the guys on the boards think.

[Guest]

there could be alot reasons,
one could be you are over thining it.
it could also be that he doesnt want it to go further only FWB
maybe he feels that your pushing him into something, people do not like to be pushed into something.
it could be something different all-together.

talk to him and if you do not get the results you wish for, thik if you want it to remain the same way as it is or put a stop to it. tell him what you feel, relationship or friendship.
this is the problem with FWB. one likes the other more and it becomes an issue.
i have no proble with FWB or those who want them, but just remember its friendship and not a commited relationship.

[beatlesbabe97]

I over think everything...that is my biggest problem. Doesn't matter what the issue is if I can possibly overthink it, I will.

[Guest]

i tend to do the same at times. i have no reason why but try not to do that if its possible. it will make you nuts trying to figure somethings out that might not need to be figured out.
hang in there sunshine. better days are ahead.