[CHORODASAUDADE]

ok ladys here it goes!! i'm a 22 year old male who's been dating a 26 year old woman whos great! we have a lot in common, we've been dating for about 4 or 5 months, i really like her and she says she likes me, we've fooled around but we havent had sex, she says she has not been able to have sex with anyone after her last relationship, which acoording to her ended badly, and the times we've fooled around she says she likes at the time but she feels like she has done something wrong afterwards(she is not religious) it really drives me nuts because sometimes she is really distant and some times she is very affectionate.she says she is not at a point for a relationship,but i am! she told me she does not want me to go away but at the same time we are not having sex, and we are not commited which is what i want, should i end it? or should i wait for her? she told me she has a problem being intimate with anyone.so i dont know if she being nice at breaking up, or if it's really true.
we see each other often, and sometimes she says hello to me like a friend, and other times like a girlfriend.i would really love some feedback!plz

[crzyredhead21]

Here's a question for you. How did her previous relationship end badly? How long was she in the relationship? If it was fairly rcent then she may not be ready for another commitment at this time. You should be glad that she is being so open/hnest with you about these feelings. Since you didn't give any details about previous relationship I can't help you too much with the "lack of intamcy" that she feels. Could be insecurity. Could be an abusive relationship in the past that she hasn't dealt with. Could also just be her up-bringing. Some parent instill in their children that "sex is bad".. blah blah..blah. It can really affect their intamcy level as adults.
Also, if you really care about her, it may be worth waiting for her to work through her issues. Just be prepared that it could be awhile. Good luck!!

[sourpuss]

I agree with redhead. 4-5 months isn't too terribly long but if you know you are ready for commitment then I can see the frustration. I suppose the question to ask yourself is, is she worth waiting around for?

[Guest]

sounds like she is sending you mixed messages. may be a little too blunt, but why not ask her what's goin on in her mind? where she sees you 2 in 6-9 months, and if she thinks/wants the relationship to go anywhere.

be prepared for an answer you may not wanna hear, but at least you might find out where she's going.

[sassie]

I agree with everyone here. If you care about her and I mean really care about her then I would sit down with her and find out where she is in her mind and her heart. See if her past relationship was that hurtful to her that she doesn't know how to move on. Maybe she just needs to know how much effort your willing to make to be with her and let me tell you with women effort is everything in a relationship, so if she is worth the wait then give all the effort you can to help her overcome whatever she is going through.

Good luck