[bukigrl]

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He lives two hours away and we have to plan the weekends when he can come down to visit. We do not have to see each other every weekend and we're both flexible however that is the only time we can see each other.

My best friend is hurt and upset with me because she can no longer spontaneously call me on a weekend and expect me to be alone. I make every effort to hang out during the week and would even be willing to only see my boyfriend twice a month so she and I can hang out the other two weekends.

She is hurt because I told her my relationship would not affect our friendship. But now she must plan the weekends when we can hang out together in advance. She can't expect to call me on a random Saturday and expect me to come over unless we talked about it earlier in the week.

She has called me a bad friend and I don't know what to do. She says I am being ridiculous because I said I would not be willing to come hang out with her and leave my boyfriend at my place after he drove down to see me. How can I maintain my long-distance relationship and show my friend that she is still very important to me. Basically, is it possible to be in a relationship and not let it affect the relationship with my best friend?

[vintage_butterfly]

She is unnecessarily in my opinion putting you between a rock and a hard place. Friends are a wonderful thing and so are boyfriends. You've made fair attempts to work things out with your best friends, but it sounds like she is unwilling to compromise.

Sometimes things change the dynamics of relationships whether it be with a good friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend. You've got a right to spend weekends with whoever you want too and your friend doesn't seem to be getting that. Just because you and someone are best friends doesn't mean you have to be at her beck and call.

I personally feel she's turning to insults and hurting you because perhaps she's jealous of your relationship with your boyfriend. Are you her only friend or does she have other friends? She seems rather clingy to you.

[WildChild]

She needs more freinds

[Little]

You're giving her all kinds of opportunities to see you and spend time with you! Imagine, if you did like you said and only saw your boyfriend 2 weekends a month, your best friend would be demanding 26 days out of 30. That's 87% of your month, and that's completely irrational. You're not in violation of the "sisters over misters" rule; she's abusing it.

[shweedart]

My best friend works full time so I hardly see her and my boyfriend works part time...and its usually the days he's free and we're spending time together that she'll call. I'm not rude about it I just simply say I'm spending time with him atm i'll call you later when your home.


Because this started effecting out friendship we've dedicated a day to seeing each other, every Monday I stay around her house after work!



I think your friend needs to lighten up!

It frustrates me when people say ' you choose your friends over your boyfriend'

see, the other half of the word 'boyfriend' is friend...their just as important.

I seriously think you need to straighten her out

[happy ending]

it sounds like she is jealous, does she have someone of her own? not being mean, but it she is creating drama when none exists - in my opinion anyway!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

This is why lots of women give up on maintaining female friends and become tomboys.

Drama is just a way of life for some women.


Ignore her, and if she kicks up a fuss, dump her as your friend - you'll be better off without that black hole of attention in your life.