[modlady]

When i'm on my own i'm super independant!!! Do everything for myself and things rarely bother me!!!

But when i get into a relationship i start to rapidly lose myself, become very clingy and needy....

I hate this and wish i could stop!!!!

I know i am doing it but find it so difficult to be that confident person again!!!

Does anybody else ever feel like this!!!!????

x

[MandyBee23]

I too am a very independent woman. I don't think I'm exactly where you are but I do find at times I feel that I can't live with out my boyfriend etc. but I think that just has to do with loving a person. Sometimes when my boyfriend is out with friends I get jealous and think "why can't he just hang out with me?" which is really ridiculous and I talk myself out of it. My advice would be to not let it show, that’s what I do. If I feel myself acting a little too needy I'll make a point to leave the house and go do something on my own especially when he is sitting around doing nothing because it’s better for him to think I don't NEED him. He will be more comfortable knowing that I can take care of myself if anything were to happen to him, plus he needs to be able to breath! As would I if he was acting like he had to be around me 24hrs a day I'd want to puke!

[Guest]

thinking mandy said it best. you have to occupy your time and talk yourself out of whatever it is that makes you feel that way.
its nice you want to spend time with your guy, he's lucky but it can also ruin a relationship too.
a littel distance can bring you closer together.... can i paten that saying? lol

[Little]

I bet that you're independent in your daily life because you put up walls. You don't trust anybody so you don't need anybody's help or support. Then when you get in a relationship, you are so overwhelmed by your trust and closeness that you don't know how to handle it. I bet that because I've been there.
Have you got a best friend? Try taking out some of your affectionate energy on her (obviously, not in the same way as you would a boyfriend.) Try to make new close friends whom you can trust. It will make your friendships stronger as well as your relationships and will make you feel better about yourself. Being able to trust people is a wonderful thing.

[Hopeless Dork]

I hate to think of myself as clingy and needy, but I sometimes I do feel that way. May its normal to cling to the one we care about sometimes when we need the reassurance. Maybe its okay to need them sometimes. Maybe its human, to not be a brick wall of confidence 24 hours a day.

It is so important not to lose yourself completely when in a relationship. You have to have activities and people and things that make you happy outside of your relationship. This will also help keep the pressure off of our significant other, so that they don't have to feel like their our everything. That can be stressful for them, causing them to need more space, causing us to feel more secure and cling more and the cycle continues.

[modlady]

Thanks for all your replies and you are so right i do out up these walls....

And the closeness scares me.... he tells me he wants to look after me and be there for me.... and that scares me too!!!

him for being nice!!!

Lol...

Thanks again

x