I have read a lot of different posts recently and found that making my own would probably be the best idea. Being only 21 years old I have a gf or you can say someone I've been dating for almost 1 year. She doesnt like the whole idea of being "together" or the whole tittle for that matter. But we still do everything any other couples do. That is problem number one out of many lol She is a little younger than me but only by a few months. I'm afraid to go into a lot of details about her and all that has happened but if everyone else here trusts and helps one another than why not?
The beginning was always the best part, not knowing much about the other person and chemistry starts to build up.I loved every second of it and wish only that the spark would start over. She believes in finding a soulmate and in my situation I guess I dont count or I'm doing something wrong. She has always had this weird feeling like she was seeing someone else but to my demise she has a Best friend. And that best friend happens to be a guy she's known for about 5 or more years and also dated him. Her first love
I know for a fact that they dont ever do anything alone behind my back , not because of trying to snoop but I trust her. I've never had problem with it all cause I too can easily be cheating lol
Than the whole pregnancy issue came into play. We normally never use a condom but she was on birth control too. A very stupid move by my part and I have to admit that while sex was good for me , it has not really been that great for her. She told me that I'm her first one to ever give an orgasm during sex which was a BIG plus for me. But It only happens very rarely, we tried so many different things to help but nothing seems to work. I know for one reason is because she is insecure about one particular area of her body. I tell her every time that I'm ok with it as you are with my problem holding back when I can't. One day she tells me that she might be pregnant, I was not so surprised and I was ready to be that person to provide her a father. Instead of running away from the problem we both ended up living together. a couple months pass and we find bad news. she was bleeding heavily and it happened to be a miscarriage. Any woman that had this happen would know the feeling she is going through even today. I've done everything I could to comfort her. Just after getting off work(mind being sweaty ,dirty, working a 13 hour shift) lol I drove up 20 minutes to the nearest hospital she was at and that's when she told me that she loved me.
Now that she is falling behind in dept well she has also a crazy job behind that as a club dancer. I know a lot of people told me that it was a bad idea and one day she will eventually break your heart but I'm holding on as best as I can. I know much about what goes on those dance clubs and the thoughts or intentions every guy or girl has towards them, but I'm always believing that she has a strong head on her shoulder. Proof of this is how much she actually makes there which is not much but enough to get by, The other girls I know there pretty well tell me she actually helped shape up the place a bit. I do go in there also very frequently and not once has she ever strayed away from me to another man. She works pretty late shifts from 4 to 2 in the morning sometimes so she does sleep a lot during the while I'm at work. We also have a cute puppy to worry about , she is also a very big handful lol Thank god Christmas is over and she was the only gift she wanted lol
So now I believe that you all are caught up on what's going on, she is going on a trip for a few days to see her father and go snowboarding, without me. It feels like we are on the brink of destruction so taking this break might help out she said. But just the other day when she left I said "I love you , be safe please" and she exploded on me, "Why are you always on this push to see if I love you? I do love you but not as much as you love me" ... Thats where I felt like All this time, all the effort of getting her a car, a dog, a place to stay was for nothing. She tells me that if I was in her situation she would help me out , but as a friend. I'm not pointing fingers on anyone in this problem because I have issues of my own that's hard for her to see me as a boyfriend. For example, my compulsive lying , my height, being insecure about everything. I do work on the lies because Its effecting my relationships with other people, It's hard to admit sometimes but I found out reading some of these posts that I do Lie. there is so much more I can write about but then I'd probably start making a book so please , feel free to ask other questions, some advice from strangers could make a difference.
The beginning was always the best part, not knowing much about the other person and chemistry starts to build up.I loved every second of it and wish only that the spark would start over. She believes in finding a soulmate and in my situation I guess I dont count or I'm doing something wrong. She has always had this weird feeling like she was seeing someone else but to my demise she has a Best friend. And that best friend happens to be a guy she's known for about 5 or more years and also dated him. Her first love
I know for a fact that they dont ever do anything alone behind my back , not because of trying to snoop but I trust her. I've never had problem with it all cause I too can easily be cheating lolThan the whole pregnancy issue came into play. We normally never use a condom but she was on birth control too. A very stupid move by my part and I have to admit that while sex was good for me , it has not really been that great for her. She told me that I'm her first one to ever give an orgasm during sex which was a BIG plus for me. But It only happens very rarely, we tried so many different things to help but nothing seems to work. I know for one reason is because she is insecure about one particular area of her body. I tell her every time that I'm ok with it as you are with my problem holding back when I can't. One day she tells me that she might be pregnant, I was not so surprised and I was ready to be that person to provide her a father. Instead of running away from the problem we both ended up living together. a couple months pass and we find bad news. she was bleeding heavily and it happened to be a miscarriage. Any woman that had this happen would know the feeling she is going through even today. I've done everything I could to comfort her. Just after getting off work(mind being sweaty ,dirty, working a 13 hour shift) lol I drove up 20 minutes to the nearest hospital she was at and that's when she told me that she loved me.
Now that she is falling behind in dept well she has also a crazy job behind that as a club dancer. I know a lot of people told me that it was a bad idea and one day she will eventually break your heart but I'm holding on as best as I can. I know much about what goes on those dance clubs and the thoughts or intentions every guy or girl has towards them, but I'm always believing that she has a strong head on her shoulder. Proof of this is how much she actually makes there which is not much but enough to get by, The other girls I know there pretty well tell me she actually helped shape up the place a bit. I do go in there also very frequently and not once has she ever strayed away from me to another man. She works pretty late shifts from 4 to 2 in the morning sometimes so she does sleep a lot during the while I'm at work. We also have a cute puppy to worry about , she is also a very big handful lol Thank god Christmas is over and she was the only gift she wanted lol
So now I believe that you all are caught up on what's going on, she is going on a trip for a few days to see her father and go snowboarding, without me. It feels like we are on the brink of destruction so taking this break might help out she said. But just the other day when she left I said "I love you , be safe please" and she exploded on me, "Why are you always on this push to see if I love you? I do love you but not as much as you love me" ... Thats where I felt like All this time, all the effort of getting her a car, a dog, a place to stay was for nothing. She tells me that if I was in her situation she would help me out , but as a friend. I'm not pointing fingers on anyone in this problem because I have issues of my own that's hard for her to see me as a boyfriend. For example, my compulsive lying , my height, being insecure about everything. I do work on the lies because Its effecting my relationships with other people, It's hard to admit sometimes but I found out reading some of these posts that I do Lie.
there is so much more I can write about but then I'd probably start making a book so please , feel free to ask other questions, some advice from strangers could make a difference.
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