[Anonymoose]

I've posted in here before and got some great advice.

Realizing that I should start working on myself and getting more self confidence is working.

I am also taking ABC which stands for Arizona's Behavioral Counseling, long story short I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting a ticket citation for criminal damage. Well besides the fact Everything is falling apart in my life so far I still hold on to one thing. My ex-girlfriend , she is now living with me and has been for about 5 months now.

The main reason we broke up was because she said she had feelings for her ex also. She tells me that being in a relationship wont ever work for her because of what happened to her parents. They got a divorce back when she was lets say eight. but the hard part of it was that he was her first love.

She tells me he doesn't like to have sex, he rarely dates, and he plays video games all day long. Kewl! lol thats what I thought at first but besides the fact she loves him still She is starting to get annoyed of me.

She rarely texts or call me. We never do the things we used to including sex , her reason behind that was she didnt want to get pregnant again.

I've done so many things for her which no one else would do, not even that best friend of hers.

Got her an apartment,Got her a car,Paid for a few dinner tabs here and their , bought her a puppy for Christmas. stupid I know but I fell for it.

Just today she told me that I am selfish to think that all those favors of mine could ever make her want me back again but I denied that and I couldnt respond back with an answer. I believe she was right...

There is not a single day I don't think about her and how she is doing. I really love this girl but she doesnt feel the same way.

ya she say's I love you ocasionally but never really mean it i guess? What I want to know is whether one day , if I manage to change my ways, will she realize the good inside me and be with me.

If there is any advise out there that could maybe help me cope with this feeling I'm having of pent up anger,depression,I don't know atm but anything I would really appreciate

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think the last thing you want is me replying first "yet again" but hey? No one else has and they will...

I am so proud of you for taking the advise on self help on your own self esteme.

For those that don't know and this is why you should stick to the original thread and continue, your girlfriend is a 'professional dancer' one with a tad of class and doesn't stray yes? But is complemented for her work by colleagues.

I think she is using an excuse regarding her parents, I think her first love was one of a bit of a rouge , tough not nice ..Her dancing in an elite way is expression and one of I am a lady, class, it's for him, he disrespected her, "this is only an opinion" and so she does this in a classic way... You are soft, she needs the love but can't love you , you are not him nor are you like him, you are you, sweet and nice...

He was in his world, he ignored her, he played his video games she was nothing, so she wanted him to love her, still does, therefore, she clings to him.

You cling to her, puppy, love, etc, as you know and this is not where she was and she is not ready to accept this "perfect love", rather seeking why the ex didn't pay her the attention.

Ok so you omitted in your last thread that she had been pregnant but this is an excuse, "how do I tell him that I haven't jumped my hurdles and sex is sex and therefore i don't want it? Nothing to do with her having previously been pregnant, after all there are condoms and birth control.

She is now putting you down " don't buy me" , how dare you, I don't feel love.

You my sweet don't love "this girl" but you have invested so much time, energy, help you feel you can save her and make her yours. You know what? It's called , settling, and the need and desire to be loved...

You need to know that someone else will love you till the moon and back for what you have done, are doing... This girls heart is elsewhere and really the way she is treating you, is not what you deserve, nor want is it?

You don't need to change your ways, she loves the money that you give her, the apartment, car, dog, she loves that you are there, but she gives you no love, no sex, tells you reasons for this, but is still there, what do you get? Nothing.

This is my advise..... She is using, she may want what you can give but she can't accept it, move on to someone who will and makes you feel like the man you are.

She is one person amongst a sea of women... Simply? You don't need to change but you do need to say, pfttt sorry lady, your here for me 100% or i will be gone....

CW

[acerousme]

being just friends?
and you like her....
been there, done that.
like my "mom" said above me...plenty of fish in the sea....
DONT put youself down to their level of play...
because in the end...you wind up getting hurt...

You sound awesome, so GET OUT THERE....and find someone who wants you...for you

[tasha_correa]

You say "if i manage to change my ways", like you have done some thing wrong. From what you share, YOU have done nothing wrong. You have been there for her and done thing for her that no one else will. YOU have been every thing that you could be for her and she wants to tell you that you are being selfish. She needs to take a good hard look in the mirror and ralize that you have been every thing but selfish toward her. You would go to the moon and back to make her happy and she is the one who wants to be with a loser that does not even realize her. You seem to be willing to worship the ground that she walks on, but what she wants is for some one to treat her like . Maybe she thinks that she deserves to be in a relationship that her parents were in and is intimidated by you treating her with kindness. (just a suggestion) Try playing hard toget with her and see where it leads you... But personaly I think that some one who is as selfish as she is does not deserve you, but who am I to tell you who to love. Give playing hard to get a try... some girls like feeling like garbage and she seems to be one of them. Hope I helped.

[Anonymoose]

Sorry it took so long to reply back. Just got back from a trip to California with my cousin. Well that whole time I was out I did think about her and made me realize what you all told me. She isn't the one and the only way for me to get over her is to just move on. I really wanted her to be the one, I felt like I could trust her and all but I was just blinded. Being ignorant and stubborn. I've lost many friends do to this relationship and I think many apologizes won't be accepted this time. I was just wasting time over and over again wanting so bad for her to acknowledge me. lol I feel like all this venting won't stop and I'm really sorry to keep bugging people especially everyone on this forum. Thank you though, for all your help.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

1.... Your friends will ALWAYS be your friends, or they weren't to start with.
2....We didn't make you see, only you saw one side, now you see two.
3.... Never apologise to us, that is what we are here for.
4....Is it not like the "bad boy" in youth? You like the bad boy? And, so you want the "unatainable" because you wish to make that yours..

Is that not a strength? Guts? Determination? So, it didn't work, what was in the way past? So could / can you change past?

Not unless it's all let GO, so that YOU can find the PRESENT ....................FUTURE.


CW

[tasha_correa]

You dont bother us! We are all here because some times we need advice too, and we give ours in return. Vent all you want and we will give support and help. I'm happy to see that you have found what feels right to you.
-keep up with the venting, sometimes it helps!-

[vintage_butterfly]

I am personally glad you're ditching the user. She's not worth the time or energy you've put into it if she can't give that same time and energy back. I personally think she's probably saying 'I love you' when it's most convenient for her. Sometimes women aren't worth it, so moving on is your best option. Good luck, it'll be hard but you can do it.

PS: This forum is about venting and getting advice. Don't stop posting unless you don't have something to say! :O)