[acerousme]

Quick question for you all

How do you deal with jealousy???
and not just on your part???

[Little]

I ignore it and push it far, far down inside of me, only for it to spout back to the top in a poorly-worded argument.
Ahem! I mean, I deal with it maturely! No. No, I don't. Seriously.
I have been the green-eyed monster in every relationship before this one, where inexplicably it is nearly absent. I have also previously been in relationships with very jealous men and thought it was "cute." It's a killer, it's poison, and it will rip a relationship to SHREDS.
The only cure for jealousy is trust. Decide to trust your significant other like you would trust your best friend (if s/he deserves it.) If your partner is jealous, try to work with him/her on it. That's all you can do.

[Guest]

This is a 2 edged sword. The green eyed monster yes, can destroy a relationship.

There is 2 kinds of Jealousy, 1 being the kind that says "Hey baby I don't want that guy or gal trying to take you away from me, which is healthy, and the other is when a person gets bitter over either small acts of flirting with the opposite sex or just because a person happens to just look or say something, maybe just a compliment, and they are not sure what it really means, trust factor like Ms. Little said.

I use to date this girl that when we went to parties she was always with her man friends, sitting on their laps and having a har, har of a time. No kissing or nothing like that but it was hard for me, so I confronted her about it (At the time thinking I was madly in love wit her her)
She told me that's the way she's always been and not to worry about it, that I was her man. I tried to understand and she understood how I felt.

Bottom line was, at the end of the night I was the one she went to bed with and in the morning, I was the one that she woke up too. As far as I know she never did cheat on me. We broke up later but over a tottaly different issue.

The other tho't is if someone is doing something out of the norm to create jealousy (and they may or may not know it) It is so Healthy to get that out of the way or at least to come to some kind of compromise to deal with it. To come to some understanding

I don't think I've made my self very clear, I posted once and lost it and it's hard to regain you initial thot's.

Good thread Ace. Good food for topic.

Are U jealous or someone you know going thru that now?

[acerousme]

kinda both....

Im a jealous person...and I do kinda have trust issues...only because of Shawn...and other "men" that have hurt me.
(my mom says once a cheater, always a cheater)

I KNOW he talks to other women...a lot. It bugs me, it really does. I dont know why...well, probably because thats how Shawn started...
yes, I get it...he isnt shawn, FAR from it.

and Yea, I talk to other guys...
I have a LOT of guy friends. I have 2 girl friends to speak of...
Trust is an issue, he and I have both been hurt.

He has already "called it off" twice.

What do I do???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So why has he called it off?

Do you "talk" about your male friends in a flirtatious fashion, like you do here with us? In front of him?

If so, and he keeps breaking it off, it may not be jealousy, rather "trust"... And trust takes a bit of time within a relationship.

Perhaps you both need to lay the cards out on the table that you "want" an exclusive relationship and no matter what, understand that that is what it will be, friends are just that, friends.. It is you that I want to be with, type of approach..

As for you feeling the same, same thing... Trust... He needs to also let you know what he wants out of this relationship and that you can trust him, no matter what, faithfullness is what this relationship is all about, as neither want past to creap in.

Make a pact.

"If" you ever get the urge, and want to cheat, then you leave me, (never to return) but you leave me, and do it the next night if you must, but that's our pact.

CW

[acerousme]

he's called it off because from what I understand...is he doesnt want to get hurt.
so he hurts me.

and he KNOWS Im insanely jealous of this one girl he talks to....drives me INSANE...and he keeps bringing up "Clive"....
Mother Hen, you KNOW from reading that Clive and I are just friends...
THATS it.
I dont parade any of my guy friends in front of him...I talk about my friends...but not like...."Oh he's sooo sweet"


ugh...whatever...I feel like saying..."Ya, okay....later"
I dont even know if its an exclusive relationship...
Maybe I should just...stop...
and forget the field....let them come to me?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhh Man, I like your last line the best, the best.

Well, did you explain who Clive was haha, before he read it, I mean seriously, I was about to call the cops lol...

If you did, then he doesn't see your "hidden talents" as an Actress, writer, and if he can not see that creative streak and side of you, there really isn't much there to go with is there?

And, if he hasn't said, " I want you to be my girlfriend" he has to decide and you have to say "decide", as I am an exclusive "one man" girl, simple... I don't cheat..
When you do, you know where I am.

But, think carefully first on the first part I wrote pertaining to how he sees you, not just your personality but your inner self who you are..

Because otherwise, you'll get hurt, cause you'll fall for someone even deeper that has no understanding who the bloody heck you are, lol.

K.

Signed:

Who ever.

[acerousme]

HAHAHAHA, I know...I was wondering if Clive and I creeped you out.
Honestly, we mean nothing but fun, thats all


uhhhhhhhhh.....I just dont know.

oh...who ever....
YOUR SECRET is safe with me.
as long as you dont tell any of my secrets..lol

[Guest]

Tell me some of your secrets, I have a lust to know!"""""????????

[Hopeless Dork]

I have struggled with jealousy from time to time, but a couple months ago I picked up on something in a post here that said something along the lines of decide to trust, or don't trust and if you don't ..then leave the relationship and move on. I decided to trust with all my might and when the little tinges of jealousy arise I shut them up in my head saying "you trust him, its okay". And I settle down. What is the point of getting all worked up with "jealousy" making yourself sick with worry, it ruins the beauty and happiness in relationship when you are constantly worried about how and when its going to end and what will be the catalyst. I think that you have to decide you want to enjoy the other person, be happy with them, trust is required.

Too many of us have been hurt so many times that trust is scary, we are afraid of getting hurt but the thing is, life is gonna happen whether or not we kick and scream along the way or simply enjoy the ride. If we are with someone that is gonna cheat, being jealous over every single person that comes into their life isn't going to make them not do it. Its pointless, I've learned to let it go. Either he loves me or he doesn't. Freaking out isn't going to change it one way or another so I have learned to relax and accept the joy as it comes.