[penguinlover]

I need serious help. I have no idea what to do anymore. Please help me anyone. Here's my situation:

I have been talking to a guy online since i was 13 so it's been 6 years since I've started emailing him. He is such a great guy it's unbelievable, and I've fallen in love with him, and he says he feels the same way about me. The thing is we've never met and it might be an extremely long time until we do because of all our problems. Family situations not problems between us. Well it's extremely frusterating for the both of us not being able to see each other and we've tried to stop talking to each other. That was a huge mistake... In those 3 months that we lost contact I felt so horrible and it just killed me whenever I heard the phone ring and saw his name on the caller id, but I couldn't answer because we had agreed that no matter what happened we wouldn't talk to each other. We thought it would help all the frusteration and agony we felt if we just forgot about each other. Like i said that was a huge mistake. Everything was aweful. Every second of every day I was thinking about him. I just couldn't stop.

Now all my friends and even my family are telling me to forget about him because my fantasy world with him is never going to happen. It hurt me so much to hear them say that so I talked to him about it. As it turns out everyone was telling him the same thing and we just couldn't believe it. After a week, he called me at 3am and i knew that he had been crying. He told me that they were right. This couldn't continue because as much as we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together we had to face reality. It was never going to happen... there were way to many problems especially with our ''moms''. I felt devasted after I heard this and he explained everything else on his mind.

I just can't forget about him. He is seriously the first person that cared about me ever. Before we started talking I had serious issues. I had turned to drugs while trying to keep everything at home together. My mom hated me so much (no joke). When i got home the very first thing she would do was hit me and tell me that i was ****. And she would remind me of what my dad did to me. Every single day I had to relive that dreadful night... Everything changed when i turned to him. He was always there. He understood me. I quit the drugs, I didn't let my ''mom'' step on me, and I learned to move ahead and get on with my life.

So what am I to do now? Should I listen to everyone and try to forget him and hope that I find another guy?? Or should I fight for him and and wait til the day comes when we can meet???

[Guest]

Online relationships are tough. Especially for something that has been going on this long. I have to question how old is this guy. Are you the same age?....

Say hypothetically you are...Everything is legit. Who care's about your family. They won't be in the relationship. YOU will. I had a similar situation where I refused to date someone because I felt that my "friend" at the time would judge me. But, I realized that it was her way of controlling me. The guy ended up being an awesome guy!(she's not my friend anymore) So, don't let other people dictate how you live your life.

If those people who supposedly care about you don't support you, then it's really sad on their end. Sure they can give you advice, but take it lightly. You need to make your own decisions about relationships, life etc.

You will know if YOU made the decision that is best for you.

[WildChild]

This is a lot like the old pen pal thing. After this long I'd think you know each other pretty darned well. The concern would be if this relationship kept either or both of you from interacting with people around you or forming other relationships. You are 19 now and presumably graduatated. Could the two of you plan to meet this year?

You have hinted at some serious trauma in your life, which your mom hasn't dealt with very well. Sounds like you would do well to get out on your own as soon as you can. Have you done any counseling?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Why do you feel that you can not meet?

When you want something in life, anything is possible. You simply "find a way", in -other-words you work towards the solution, such as for instance, working 2 jobs and putting some money aside, for the plane fair.

What is important is "meeting" each other, it's obvious that you both "click" very well but you know ,you could be long lost souls as well that "love" each other deeply but may not get on at all in the real world...

You say "his" family say it will not work... Why is this, what reasons does he give to you in this regard...?

I

felt devasted after I heard this and he explained everything else on his mind.

What else did he explain as to his logic?

CW

[Fatin]

Everything is possible :d