Been a while since I posted anything pertinant, because nothing really much has happened.
today I got curious, went to the X's facebook, she listed herself as "in a relationship" and all her (inner circle girlfriends) posted as if they had no idea it was coming, lol. I just kinda chuckled, she changed her status to that merely days after I got home from Iraq, really doesn't bother me, Still waiting to get the divorce finalized, got the final papers today and she's still trying to pull some shady stuff, so i just simply called my lawyer and denied them.
She's trying to get the child support calculated based on my deployment pay, which is a lot more than I make normally, and i am not deployed, so roughly a little over 20% of my total income she thinks she should get. As well as me paying her credit card that she secretly put in her name.
another fun thing that happened today, my son and I were playing in the living room and I went to grab the phone to call grandpa, as soon as I touched it, the phone rang and it was some guy calling for her, he asked who i was in some condescending tone, and I told him i was her soon to be x husband, he then sounded very surprised and I said good bye.
so that was fun, I shrugged it off, no good getting worked up over it now, its been quite a while and I have let go of a lot that was bothering me, dont think i have forgiven her yet, but I have just let a lot go.
I myself have been having a blast, I have met new people, hung out with my son, and just slowly started working into the house again, making it my own.
I have met a few women and only one has really perked my interests, i have been casually hanging out with her and I must say, its almost an alien feeling to seem to be appreciated for the first time in years. I have explained to her my situation and held nothing back as far as where my head is at with her, and she accepts it, just enjoys havin me around. I gotta say again, for the first time in probably 5 years, I feel "desired and appreciated" and its nice, lol. I figure myself as having been single since I left for Iraq, I was trying to be married, but it was not there, I didnt want to accept that fact, it has been pretty much done since the end of april last year when the X started accusing me of cheating, I tried to hold a marriage together for my son's sake, but I couldnt, and putting that much effort into something that failed made me feel like a failure myself, I have come to grips with that, many many long lonely nights laying awake wondering "what did I do" when it may not have been me at all, I started getting blamed and the finger pointed at me out of no where in 04/05 and it just took its toll, finally I slowly just slumped into a beat puppy of my former self.
Well, now, I am not that beat puppy, lol, I am going out, I am having fun, I am enjoying myself, and best of all, I dont have to "act" like I wasnt cheating, because I wasnt the one who was cheating, no matter how much she wants to deny it, what she did was unfaithful, bottom line, and she wants to call herself my friend now, and I just want to slap her and say "friends dont say / do what you did to me" but i bite my tongue, because I love my son.
Some of the things I planned have happened, others are in the works, I went a little crazy when I got back blowing off steam and just party'ing a little, spent a little more money then planned, lol, but nothing un-recoverable from at all, just an expensive couple weeks.
But overall, i am happy, new women have come into my path, and old ones that noticed I was listed as "single" on myspace have re-entered it. its a good feeling to know that there are other women out there and that my thoughts of losing this one shouldnt have been so dramatic, but then, I did have very deep feelings for that particular woman, after all, I had a child with her willingly.. nothing i just give away..
Well, thats pretty much me in a nutshell for now. Living life, enjoying it, trying to retain what I learned this past summer / fall and continue to develop!
Ty

Comment