[golden_nemesis]

I moved in with my boyfriend after three months. I wasn't getting along with my roommate at the time and was also spending a lot of time with my bf. So he suggested I move in with him. I wanted to but was also reluctant because we hadn't known one another for very long and I hadn't ever lived with anyone, but I loved him so much! We were still in the lovey-dovey stage so it seemed everything would be great. Then the future rolls around and you know a LOT more about a person and they know a LOT more about you, and sometimes, like in my case, it can become a tough sitation. If you have taken on even a few joint responsibilities it becomes even harder if you contemplate moving out. Looking back now, I really wished I had waited at LEAST six months, if not a year, to get to know one another better before moving in. Now, after two years, it is a hard situation to be in.

So my suggestion would be to wait and get to know one another a bit better. But that's just my opinion. I didn't want to throw any negativity out there, but just wanted to share.

Otherwise, everyone has good suggestions posted! Good luck!

Hmm, should have done a multi-quote response, but just now decided I wanted to respond to you.

I don't think you're being negative countrygirl, just honest. I definitely hear where you're coming from. There are definitely no guarantees. Sometimes people who move in together after a few weeks dating find that everything works out beautifully, and sometimes people who move in after dating for years find that suddenly everything is different, and not in a good way, and their relationship falls apart. I just feel like you'll never know if you don't try. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[golden_nemesis]

Update!

So I finally worked up the courage to ask him if we could live together a couple nights ago. I decided that beating around the bush was not something I wanted to do, so just asked him as we were curling up to go to sleep for the night. all tangled up naked together is a safety zone for us both, we share our innermost thoughts, and can talk for hours that way. So that's when I decided to ask him. I told him I really enjoy all we share, and I would really like to try sharing living space. I told him he didn't need to give me an answer immediately, and that I would honestly be ok whatever our conclusion ended up being. I think he wanted to mull over it a bit, he asked if we could talk about it later.

I think he got all worried about me feeling rejected or nervous after that, because he smiled, kissed me gently and told me not to worry. But really, I was just relieved to finally have it on the table, I didn't have to worry about asking any more. I am pretty sure I didn't scare him, he has behaved normally since then, though we didn't see each other last night because he worked very late. We talked a bit online before I went to bed, and he invited me over for dinner tonight so we could talk about "su casa mi casa stuff" as he put it. So I am pretty certain he'll be receptive to the idea. I'll update tomorrow!

[golden_nemesis]

Well, its official, he said he really wants me to live with him. Took him till the end of the night to say so, but his friend was there with us for the evening, so I didn't really expect him to bring it up till we were alone. He confirmed what I had strongly suspected, that he had never lived with a girlfriend before, despite the fact he has been in a number of long-term relationships. So this will be a first for both of us.

I feel so privileged that he decided he could share his space with me. I know he values his independence, and I promised him he would have space whenever he needs it. I don't think there will be too many adjustment pains, though I won't venture so far as to say none, that would be just asking for trouble!

Told my dad and best friend the new development, they're both very happy for me. Predictably, my mom has a few hang-ups about it, but she knows she has no control over my choices at this stage. She told me that you run the risk or getting hurt the more you get involved with someone. No duh! I responded that I wasn't afraid of pain or heartbreak, they're a part of life, and I have faith I could work through that anguish and come out the other side just fine. Avoiding attachment to avoid pain is just no way to go about life. My mom is an interesting character, to say the least.

So what this means for me at the moment is that I have about three weeks before I need to be moved out of my current place. I spent today going through my clothing, filled three trash bags with clothes to get rid of at the local consignment shop, and another pile of stuff to take to Goodwill. His closet doesn't have all that much space, LOL.

I enjoy the process of moving. I have done it so many times since I first moved away to college that I have it down to an art, and I take joy in paring out the non-essentials from the burdens I have to carry with me from place to place. Getting rid of things and packing other things into bags and boxes is a weird sort of comfort zone. If I am lucky, it is a comfort zone I won't get to enjoy for a long time to come.

PS. Going to ask him whether he wants me to move my stuff in bit by bit or all at once. Not sure if he wants to cannonball into the cold water or tip-toe his way in. I think I am more of a tip-toer, for the main reason that I won't have to rent a van to move it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I spent today going through my clothing, filled three trash bags with clothes to get rid of at the local consignment shop, and another pile of stuff to take to Goodwill. His closet doesn't have all that much space, LOL.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! A new beginning for you and exciting I am sure... Plus he said yes.... haha.

When I read what you wrote above, I realised something else. It's great that you took note of his "space", because that's something alot of people don't get. They move in and take over, whereas, your mindful of adjusting to suit.

Good luck, you guys will have fun I think.

CW