[KerrieD]

I been with my partner for seven years now and we have a six year old son together. Things between us have never been that great but i have stuck it out because i love him dearly.
I work full time and he works too but only when he feels like it and he does not really earn that much leaving me to pay all the bills whilst his goes up in smoke and beacuse money is tight and i have bills coming out my ears i am struggling to cope without any support which cause major arguements.
Part of me really hates the fact that he just does not seem to want to help support his family hes happy for his family to support him.
He is on the computer all the time so there is no conversation between us also leaving me to go to bed alone whilst hes up most of the night, we never ever go out any where together, oh we have twice to the cinema and who paid suprise me. Yesterday i discovered that he has been calling and texting another woman making arrangements to meet with her and before discovering this he told me he maybe working an all day and all night shift at work now i get it!! I confronted him when i found out he said it was just a bit of fun, something to talk about with the boys at work, and how i just want him to die without any, i dont touch him. whatever that means. things in the bedroom department are not great, but what do you expect if i get ignored all evening go to bed alone, then get woken up out of my sleep for sex when he decides to come to bed when i got to get up for work in the morning.
He has flirted with other women before online though, and he slept around whilst io was pregnant. So I find it very hard to trust him is it a case of this one will never change? He always makes me feel like i am the one with the problem its my fault, is it me? We been through this so many times, i am broken cant stop crying, tired of fighting i hate myself have no confidence left and this time has made me really wonder if i can truely ever forgive and trust this man again, i love him but think its time to call it a day, but them i am confussed,someone plz help me with a little advice.

[WildChild]

Your situation sounds really frustrating. The thing is you can't change him - only he can do that. But you can change how you deal with him. Have you sat down in a neutral situation and talked? Told what you feel and what you want, asked what he wants? How is he as a father?
The two of you need to set a budget and determine how much you each need to contribute. You should start saving for yourself. Make it clear that you aren't paying so he can play.
The problem is you in that you have put up with it and had a child with him. He needs to understand clearly that he is on the brink of losing it all, you, your child and your support. You need to set some limits, you accepted this behavior in the past, why should he think you won't continue to? Get clear with yourself, what are you willing to accept? What do you want? What will you do if doesn't shape up? Make a plan and be ready to follow it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I know that computers can ruin relationships, we have all read it over and over, specifically to WOW, as the main event, but also dating sites, games the guys play, boredom?

Why is he working part time? And, then sitting around at a computer doing stupid things that will ruin his relationship?

Obviously, this has also fallen over into your love life, non communication, including the bedroom...

Things are missing badly and unless you both sit down and work out why and how to solve it, it won't solve itself.

Ask him what he would like to make things better between you, what he is craving and then tell him what you would like and what you are craving and see if you can sort it out.

He must have worked at sometime, full time and you both must have enjoyed being intimate at sometime surely...

What changed?

CW