[ThexMrs]

Upbeat today!

Hey ya'll!

I've got news for you.

I'm letting this whole things go. It was just a stupid fight over nothing. He even said that he didn't feel like it was even a fight. It really wasn't. When we talked it was calm minus when I cried. I'm over it though. I know in my heart that he wants to be with me, that he loves me and he never cheated and isn't going to.

Granted, earlier today I was effed up. I cut myself and took 5 and a 1/2 Xanax but after that I am feeling good. Him and I just got off of the phone and our conversation was amazing.

We talked about him coming here and all of the dirty things we plan to do when we see each other. I got him all hot and bothered and I feel the same way. We can't wait to see each other.

I just made this into something that it wasn't. Something that I really didn't even know the facts of at the time of this post. I overreacted and I realize that. He loves me, I know he does. I know he loves me the way that I love him. I was just thinking the worst possible thing and it was all in my head.

We're doing amazing as of today. I can't wait to rock his world when he gets here. It's going to be so much fun. I'm excited and so is he. Not that this is all about sex but... Oh it's a BIG part of it. Going this long without it and then seeing each other. Oh baby!

So yeah, I'm high off the pills right now so I might be sharing too much information but oh la effing la!



Bring it baby!

[ThexMrs]

Downfall

I talked to my boyfriend tonight and everything was going so well. The thing is, is that he needs to put up a fence for his house but he also wants to see me. I just got emotional and told him that I don't want to stand in his way. I know he needs a fence and that he can put off seeing me for that. I just started bawling me eyes out. I felt so much like I was holding him back. He was like, baby please don't cry. You're not holding me back or getting in the way. He told me that there was no way he'd put up a fence before he came and saw me. Then he told me I was breaking his heart and I was going to make him cry. He says that I have nothing to worry about it and he loves me so much. I felt even worse for making him cry and breaking his heart. We finally got off of the phone because it was late there and he needed to go to sleep so he can get up for work in the morning but he kept telling me that he loves me. I know in my heart that he does. I just overreact when it comes to certain things and I see that. I'm just a wreck. We got off of the phone and I just laid there crying my eyes out. It made me feel so good that he has me as his priority but then I started thinking about my mother. My mother is miserable. She's an alcoholic and lives in misery and I can't do anything to change that and that is killing me. I went and talked to her about it and just cried and cried. I want to help her but I can't. I have no power to make her happy and that kills me. I'm such a train wreck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well madam..

You need to see the good in things, so that you can cope with the bad.

Your Mum obviously has her own issues and can't deal with them and the bottle helps her even though she probably doesn't want that either, you are doing something to help silly, you are there for her.. You ARE THERE...

That is worth it's weight in gold.

You MUST see positives instead of negatives...

CW

[ThexMrs]

I do see the good but sometimes the bad overshadows it. That just happens. I think it's a part of life. As for my mom... _ _ _ _ yeah she has issues. She needs help but you can't force someone to get help when they don't want it. So that in itself makes me miserable.

ljgherlihyrGIHYwrgowhyowYty - THAT'S HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!

[hurt]

cheating

i have been in a relationship for 7 yrs and i just caugh my lover cheating on me with a fellow colleugue, this is the first time he did this to me and he says he loves me and is begging for forgivness and a second chance.they did not sleep together but they kissed and flirted!! i am very heartbroken and confussed should i give him a second chance?

[ThexMrs]

Hmm... No one can tell you what to do. You will know the answer if you look into your heart but don't forget about logic. Personally, I would never take back someone that cheated on me. All trust is lost and it will take a VERY long time to get it back, if ever. In fact, in the back of your mind you will always be wondering. You can forgive but you can't forget and that is a treacherous trap.

[ThexMrs]

My boyfriend and I have been doing a lot of talking over the last couple of days. I don't mean idle chit chat but he has really opened up to me. He's being mature for the first time in our relationship and I can't get enough. He has enlightened me on the way that he thinks and now my insight into him is far greater. I haven't been so happy in a long time. He's maturing. I can't even believe it. I knew he had it in him. I love him so much.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Regardless of what happened, he may have realised the importance of this relationship and therefore, is now at ease in talking things through properly.

That's fantastic, we are happy for you.

CW

[kms]

It seems that you tend to have pretty extreme emotions - sometimes you're flying high, and other times you're deep in despair. I wonder if your bf just has no idea what he's going to get and just tries to pacify and cover things so that it won't send you over the edge. Are you seeing a therapist to help you deal with the need to cut and take pills? It's far too much of a responsibility for your bf to have to shoulder it all on his own. He's not trained for that for one, and second there's a reason why counseling ethics state that therapists can't have dual relationships. They're far too draining and damaging to all involved.

[ThexMrs]

Yes, I am in counseling.

My boyfriend isn't the type to pacify. When things happen between us I don't usually bring them up right away. I wait and think them through that way I know what I want to say and can just get it out. Typically, I'm not this up and down person. I've been through a lot in the last couple of months and that's had a real rollercoaster affect. Besides, it's not all me in this relationship. He does LOTS of things that he shouldn't and if I get upset about them, they become my fault and I have no right to feel that way. Sometimes it's a mess and sometimes it's the best thing in the world.