[dgirl07]

I posted a thread a couple of months ago explaining that my best friend found out she was pregnant and that the situation she was in wasn't good. Well as of last week the situation has gotten even worse, the father of her child just told her that he got another girl pregnant and is due about a month after she is and that he has had another girlfriend on the side besides the one who just found out shes pregnant.

They never had a real relationship, but when my friend told him she was pregnant he made her all kinds of promises about getting them a house and doing this and that and now she is totally crushed. I'm trying to be there for her as much as possible, but I'm finding myself getting easily frustrated with her...For one I told her not to count on him and she said she wasn't, and I have tried to help her find a job and help make her situation better, but she doesn't seem to want to take any advice, or try to do anything to better her situation because in reality she was counting on him to handle everything, and now she has no plan. The second frustrating thing is that since she found out about all this she has been hanging out with some of her old friends from high school, and i understand she needs a support system right now, but why take support from people who weren't there for her until they heard about the baby? Myself and one other person have been her main friends for the last 3 years and have been with her through all kinds of ups and downs, yet she is constantly with these girls, who in my eyes are only around now, so they can say "my friend is pregnant"...the final thing is that last year was the worst year of my life, I lost my job, got into a lot of trouble and just made bad decisions, but I have been on a really solid path since the begining of the year, and have been free of any trouble or drama, I'm in school and working and I feel like this pregnancy and the drama thats coming along with it is dragging me down a lot.

She is expecting me to drop everything the second she needs me, and I just can't afford to let my life go, simply because she messed her life up. And part of me is really resenting her right now and that makes it hard for me to be the best friend I can be to her, and that makes me feel really guilty, because if I drop her now I'll be no better than any of her old friends and I usually pride myself on being the best friend anyone could ask for. This situation has just thrown me for a loop..

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to help the situation?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, true friends, your there for regardless.

AND, you can converse with them and tell them your own problems and that you need time out, if you are really down.

You should never feel guilty of it, ever, because they understand.

Jealousy, is not worth the paper you write the word on... Fear, is neither.

So don't fear, that her other "friends" will get her attention and she will drop you, nor be jealous because reality is, if that occurs, then was she really your friend? Or, very needy and because your a giver, and give and give, she uses that.

What do you therefore have to lose?

On the same accord you need to establish if she really needs you at present, as her friend and if you can drop somethings to be there for her, as she realises the other's aren't really "her friend" you are.

Only you can "judge" the situation and decide if she has ever been there for you..

If your not sure, throw some issues to her about yourself and how your feeling and see just how much she is there for you.

Sometimes, it's the only way to determine whom is a "true" friend, or not.

CW

[Joy]

Well really you can't fix anything for anyone. She has to do that leg work on her own. YOu can't make her deicisons even if you can't bare to see her struggle. So, you stop telling her how to run her life. She has to do this her self. Then you wn't be frustrated when she doens't follow your advice. You are kinda lovin to be depended on and hatin it at the same time.

some times we can only live by example to our friends we can't reach them at all. Sometimes we just follow another path and lose ppl along the way.