[mzhk]

After a very short term yet beyond abusive situation that I got out of? Very shortly after this guy entered into my life. This girl I've kept in touched with for the longest time through out the years had this guy on her list that she's known for the longest time. He's friends with her god brother. Anyhow, out of no where that year I had a "friend request" from a total stranger. I wasn't sure if it was someone I might have known so I didn't want to delete. I added him anyways. For the longest time he never anwsered. Oneday I wrote him a message threatening if he didnt tell me who he was I'd delete him. Finally he wrote back and explained he knew _____. I asked her who he was and she told me that he was really close friends with her god brother. Meh* It's ok no big deal I mean not like I am going to get off my fat butt to go over another town to meet this total stranger. I kept him on my list ; ladies trust me he is one goregous man.... but the problem is that he's one of those dangerous badboys . Great to look at with the expensive sports car and the height that just about every woman dreams about. The girl told me that he prob thinks i'm HOT/good looking or whatever that's why he kept me on his list.

We say hi once in a while online but for the past 2 years I've never met him. To attempt to shorten up this story even more. Recently, his very very very close pal moved into my town. Now the thing is he wants to meet me. I hid last time with a whole lot of excuses. But the problem is? In a week he's coming into my town. If he'll think I'm fat or ugly? no big deal i've been insulted so regularly since i was 5 I'm almost used to it. But if he turns into my exbf? Get all obessive? stalker ish type? I'm in a whole lot of trouble. But then the other parts of my brain keeps on saying WHAT if ??? But my gut says stayyyyyyyyyy away. Badboys are only good to look at but not worthee of any hopes or dreams of a decent relationship..

LADIES? I COULD USE SOME ADVICE ... I DONT THINK MENTALLY I COULD HANDLE ANOTHER NUTJOB..IT NEARLY KILLED ME TRYING TO GET RID OF THE OTHER ONE!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ooooh ahhh, So your assuming the fact that his "friend" is a bad boy so is he?

Secondly, he's only asking to meet with you, not sleep with you and even if that's his intentions are you saying you can't say no?

You can't look at a person and assume it's going to turn into a relationship that comes with spark, two people, and with smarts, knowledge that both like each other, not a booty call.

Surely, you've been speaking with him?

You should know with your "gut feeling" if he's after a booty call, a hi how are you only, or I like you...

If you don't, stay away and start to learn who is who in life or you will continue to get hurt.

CW

[mzhk]

replying to chandlers wish

I know it is wrong to assume. But that's all I got to go by. *WORD OF MOUTH* The girl we both know? Say's he's a badboy type and later i found out he's friends with this guy i grew up with that my mom used to babysat. ( we're both now in our late 20's ) This guy is 30 . oh no! haha I'm not that stupid to assume a relationship out of this. I just meant that I'd be in trouble if he'd get obessive ....

But after reading your advice? sigh* sadly, I think your right best to listen to my gut. My gut is saying : the most I could get out of this is a bootycall one night stand. I'm 25 and only had one relationship , it barely lasted two months and I'm scar until this very day. Meeting this stranger just because of word of mouth would be stupid. If I bump into him in public then cool...if not no private meetings.

Thanks CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Aweee.... well you have to listen to Gut feelings ....

You know there is nothing wrong with a booty call if that is what you want, your a big girl.

But your comments after make me think your not like that, not interested, wish you could have a relationship and won't settle for less. Good for you.

If you haven't gotten to know this guy over where ever, "facebook", at all then na, i wouldn't meet, there's a reason in his mind for doing so.

Don't think that you won't find someone special cause you will... Some guy will love that you think like this.

You go girl.. You've got a good attitude...

Join places where you have common interests with people and get out and meet people, the internet is not the be and end all... Even though i did meet my man on one lol... But then, I am a few years older than you....

CW

[mzhk]

chandlers wish

You being a bit older then Id rather listen to you then my gut. My gut doesn't have any experience. I was quite fat during highschool no guy was ever attracted to me or attempted to get to know me. I was fine all through out highschool as long as I had a bucket of icecream. After highschool I dropped quite a bit of weight. Finally when i was a little better? Out of no where that loser came into my life. I thought it was FINALLY god gave me someone. But in the end it was a nightmare...yuk* After the breakup? I lost a lot of more weight then later on I gained it all back.

No, its not that I am not attracted to this man? He's cultured he writes a lot of languages , great looking and very interesting. A large part of me is very insurcure about myself because of how much weight ive gained recently? Other parts of me kinda don't know if mentally I could bring myself to a one night stand. I mean its normal now a days... but i dont think i could you know???

oh? u met your man online???? what did ur gut say to you about meeting a stranger??? i could use the girlie advice.....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Guess it's you and me for a bit, until other's sign in "after sleeping" I come from Australia, so I am "awake"....

How you view yourself, certainly is how you will "act and react".. When i was at school I had the same problem... I was lanky, 5ft 8, long blonde hair, freckles, but skinny but parents loved me wearing pink, be independant, well that colour wasn't in then... So I get all that. At 16, it all changed, I changed, clothes changed, nice not tarty but bottom line from there to well on-going, confidence stepped in.

It doesn't matter how over weight you are, be confident.

Lecture over.

Except ( haha CW does this), you lost weight felt confident, found someone, he was a jerk, put weight back on and here you are where you were, back in time yeah?

Your "photo" shows who you are right?

You know who you are and not interested in a booty call right?

What makes you think that guys don't admire, like women with attidute, women with meat?

It's the attidude that will get you through... If he's interesting, speaks languages, you can "talk to him" and you can say" na, thanks love, but go play with Tuesday and Wednesday, I am not either of the other days".. smile and leave.?

Why not use this person to build your confidence, whilst at the same time, realising "you can do it".... You can talk the talk and walk?

Yes I know... I don't do one night stands, what a waste of time, god gave me a lot in order to find myself, sexually without... "you know what i mean"... So, not worth feeling degraded over or giving up for no reason....

Okay meeting a stranger? First time? Nup, it won't work.... something is wrong, I was right.

Second time? I knew from day dot....

Gut feeling....

It's how they speak to you.... the communication.... the willing to wait? regardless....

Doesn't matter where they live.

A combination of liking the mind, loving the soul, and lusting at the same time.

You say he has smarts, so you must too in order to see that, give him your smarts back...

You know how to say no.... Use everything in life as "I am whom I am you like me or not", ....

CW

[mzhk]

cw

you sound just like my bestfriend. Her exact words to me was practice makes perfect. Even a bootycall? He'd be the bestest you could ever get little lady. That's what she tells me every other week. no no no trust me hahahah my photo doesn't not say who i am. The funny thing about me is? I photograph very well. I stopped posting my photos up online the past almost two years. I always would get these werid offers from men to whom I donno that always says how they want to get in the sheets with me. I'm not as tall as you. I'm 5'6 anf half , 181 pounds .

uhhum........thanks so much for your personal insites. I will think over ur advice

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No, i will say i am not saying that... the opposite.... Practise with someone you want to be with and he with you, makes "perfect"... She is saying that having sex for no reason is practice, for the next person and the next and the next.

You've already said, it's not your style, your not a bootycall girl.....

So you feel insecure about yourself, yet you know your looks are well in shape, because in your age group, it's the "look" that they are attracted to, if you look good then they want to.... and so this you've experienced.

Nothing wrong with taking that off because that's not your makeup..

Be you......

Be strong......

Know your inner beauty and your outer....

Seems people see the outer, now you just need to believe in you.

CW

[mzhk]

oh sorry! misunderstood

Yeah ...I'm an oddball and somewhat very old school. I find being with someone physically kinda have to have love into it more then lust. The way my best says it kinda says I have to settle right there and now because according to her I wont get any better then him. I will when im ready like u said hehehe

yawn* thx 4 the emotional encouragement...its almost 3am my time. I must practice something more important then relationship advice..........i must get some zzzz in


swt dreams or hahaha good morning depending which time zone ur in hehehe

[happy ending]

at 5ft 6 and 181 pounds you are hardly the circus fat lady or anything, as CW says some men like a more curvy woman (like mine for example) cant you meet him for coffee or something, if he asks for more see how you feel, isnt dating supposed to be fun? you dont sound like an oddball, just someone who values a proper relationship and is prepared to wait. i say meet up, drink coffee, live dangerously LOL!!