[steph22]

hi wow dragonfly i read ur description and it sounded like you were talking about me. i wont watch films music channels or anything with nudity i cant alow newspapers or nuts etc in my house it make me feel really uncomfortable and no mater how i dont want to feel like this i cnt see a way to change my insecurities, i have not allways been like this and i want help. fact is i have been abused and the guy im with now who i wont watch telly with beat me up for a few years. he got help and doesnt anymore. we have 3 beautiful kids and because of my insecurities with the media nudity and porn we are falling apart. if i knew where to get the help i would but i dont no how to solve this. any advice pls i really cud dom with some x

[WildChild]

Dealing with a BPD is no fun, I've been there. Throw in some BP with it and they don't remember everything they do and say either! Lot's of fun. I too have had a counselor (more than one actually - guess I'm a slow learner when it comes to men) ask, "Why are you still in this relationship?". I too am a fixer, always thinking if just give a little more, help a little more, care a little more.... With some people that is just a way to abuse yourself. It's never enough and you can wear yourself out and end up devaluing yourself and it's not worth it. However much you'd like to fix that wounded bird, some just need professional help and you need to quietly exit stage left.

Find a woman who will appreciate you and enjoy your caring and delight and respect in your differences. Really, what healthy person really wants to be with someone who's thinking is a clone of their own. Common ground is important but a healthy woman wants a man she can walk with, not on.