[Theresa]

I recently posted a thread on a sex forum to find help with my husband in which I am madly in love with. I want to spice up our sex life and thought that would be the place. I met a very special man on the forum and we are now texting and emailing daily. Just wondering what your thoughts are - am I cheating on my husband by sex talk on the internet with another man?

[Fallen1]

I take it you got your desire back for sex?

People have varying definitions of cheating. I guess it really depends on whether or not you are just discussing sex in general or if you are discussing having sex with him.

I know I wouldn't want my s/o to be discussing sex in detail with the opposite sex ... but that's just me.

[Theresa]

I am trying to get my desire for sex back and thought new things in the bedroom would help.

I am talking about sex with him. He is a very open person and shares alot. He makes sex seem like a beautiful thing just not a chore.

[Tina Lee]

Does your husband know about the texts?
Would he be hurt and/or think of it as cheating?

[Theresa]

No he does not know. He would be hurt but not think it would be cheating.

[WildChild]

Be very careful; with this, it's a pretty fine line between exchanging "ideas" about sex and cyber sex.

[Theresa]

I am trying to be careful but this man is amazing. He has made me feel like there is hope for me again. He lives many miles away from me so I know that there would be no involvement but I can't help imagineing what it would be like with him. I truly love my husband but he is not a good lover which I think would help me get my sex drive back. I am just not sure how to approach my husband and have him help me out.

[WildChild]

You check out the Welcomed Consensus. They offer semminars and courses for couples or singles. I don't know where you are but you can find a list of the programs and DVDs, perhaps some education and increased awareness would help your hubby.

[Theresa]

What is the Welcomed Consensus?

[WildChild]

Just do a search for their web site. They are an off shoot of a university in Northern California which had been researching sexual response since the 60s or longer. They particularly focus on female sexuality. Their DVDs are singularly un "sexy", there is nothing pornish about them, they are educational and pretty precisely graphic. A number of their students and researchers have written books as well, such as, The Extended Massive Orgasm and the One Hour Orgasm. They offer materials and education for both genders, for couples or single sex techniques. They focus on using your hands more so than on intercourse but offer some advice there as well.