[rarityplague]

Ok...I have been with this guy for 3 years. It has been rough due to drugs and alcohol. I don't know why he likes to blame me and doesn't want to look at himself. He says its my fault that he is an ....sooooo, basically he is saying its my fault. I don't understand. I love him and i told him that i want to go into treatment and change myself and all of a sudden he breaks it off with me. Why? I'm trying to make a change and start off with a fresh new start but why doesn't he want to stand by me? Does he feel threatened by me trying to change or what? I don't get him!

We have split two times before but we didn't stay gone long from each other. Everytime we do split, he wants me to come over and spend the night and/or sleep with him. And I fell for that and we ended up back together. Now he's doing that again. I know if I go over there every time he wants me there, we will end up back together. I hate wasting my time with all this! Should I leave him for good? Does he really care about me? Or is it that I'm a bad habbit, and we just can't break out of it? I need someones opinion on this.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your going to have to explain a little further I think.

You firstly say, it's been rough due to drugs and alcohol... And, you then suggest that it is you that is doing the drugs/drinking.

You then say, he blames you but you don't know why. Well drugs and alcohol causes usually, anger, distance, arguements, etc... So what is he blaming you for?

Perhaps, he broke off because he doesn't believe you, that you will get yourself clean, it's been 3 years why now?

As for does he care about you, why has he been with you for 3 years, if he doesn't?

Your not saying he turns / turned it into booty calls, rather he gets back with you.

I think personally you need to get a reality check and realise that 3 years is a long time for anyone to be with anyone and therefore, you owe it to yourself to go ahead with your plans and you owe it to "love" as you say you love him, to do this as well, so you can make that 3 years 30 years.

What do you think?

CW

[happy ending]

yes i think you need to clarify things, who has the drinking/drugs problem, if so that is your responsibility, and your problem. it does sound like he cares about you, but probably wishes he didnt. good luck with changing yourself, there are some wonderful people on this forum, who have lived every type of life, they will help you every step of the way. they are like therapy for poor people and family for orphans!