[tiffygirl]

me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now, and he has a 2 year old son . when we hang out together all of us , he calls me the family but it hurts my fellings because im not, i feel like hhis family is his son and the mother of his son , that he isent with anymore for specific reasons, and like they talk on the phone and stuff about the baby, and its weird because i get so jealous.. and he keeps his son up till midnight ever night because he doesent sleep and he is spoilt rotton and i feel like i cant have a say in it cause he isent my child but he is my issue also , and when we get into a fight or something and his son scomes into the picutre he alwasy says "well he was here beofre you" , and its unessesary to say that andit truely hurts , i get jeaoous when he has his son over and its wierd because he is only 2 . i dont know what to do , or how to feel about this anymore, and and i alwasy feel guilty about feeling like this .. and tis a non-stop cycle and then he says that he nmever wants to have kids again cause they ruin lives, and he is the best guy ive ever met, and it sucks because the one guy i find that is nice and respectful doesent wanna eer have kids again , and im only 16 but thats what i look forward to in my life, to have a family, and its like .. just because he already did it , he wont do it for me . i am so frutrated with this whole situation i just dont know how much more i can take of it .

[Hopeless Dork]

Tiffy, at 16 years old... you are, in most states, not yet considered an "adult" so being put in a situation where your boyfriend has a child can feel competitive when it shouldn't. I guess , I don't want to come off sounding condesending but you are but a child yourself in most adults eyes, its natural that you would have some jealousy toward a smaller child, like one would a little brother etc.

How old is this guy you are dating? You have a whole life ahead of you to worry about whether or not the two of you will have children together, I wouldn't be so concerned with what he is saying right now as he is probably overwelmed at the moment having a kid if he is as young as you are... so the thought of another seems too much... and rightfully so.

You can be proud of the fact that your boyfriend stood up to his responsability. It says a lot for his character in a world where many men abandon their child when things don't work out with the woman they got pregnant.

His love for his child and love for you are two different loves. You can't expect to be loved more than his baby but you can also expect to not be loved less. You would never forgive yourself if you drove a wedge through him and his child because you were needing to be the center of attention at all times.

He is going to need to talk to the childs mother, its the only healthy way to raise a child even if they don't even like each other. He is with you and has been so for a year, he must be doing things to make you feel loved and special or you would have left a long time ago.

Relax and realize that if you were gone the baby wouldn't replace you, he still obviously needs and wants you in his life. If you want to stay with this guy you are going to have to come to terms with his situation and not let yourself stress out and worry for no reason.

[tiffygirl]

thank you for the reply , i appreciate it . i came onto this website so i wouldnt have to go to the doctor and ask to talk to someone , this is reaally geat and i am looking forward to beeing abnle to talk to more girls about how i feel , so i really know that people can understand me .

[oldr+wisr]

Oh, Boy

Tiffygirl!

Please end this relationship! You are 16, please be 16!
Your jealousy is normal. You’re not bad for it.
I don’t know his age; but it doesn’t matter. You are fighting over the situation….fighting, who needs that?? Fighting sucks, and makes you miserable. Don’t put yourself through it! I’m pretty sure you have friends; go out with them! Do 16 year old things, dating, shopping, prom, first job, first car, getting through school!
You should be besties, with your boyfriend (“friend”). Laughing, doing whatever you want, when you want, with no strings attached. You don’t want Baby Mama Drama! You may love him, but you’ll get over him quickly! I promise! You’ll love yourself and life, and he will still be miserable!
Good luck!