[Danny Boy]

Hey!

I have this new girlfriend, been together for like 1 month and things are nice, only 1 thing bothers me. She's suffocating me...if a day goes by without us seeing each other she calls me too much and acts mad...I need some time on my own and I don't know how to tell her that without hurting her feelings. Also she makes me feel odd because she's always "in the mood" and I'm kinda not...I feel very stressed because of this and I'm going to start avoiding her if things go on like this. I don't want to break up with her, but make things right. Any advice?

Thanks in advance,

Danny

[lizzy_09]

Did you ever tell her that she's suffocating you? That if she keeps this up, instead of making you get close to each other, she's pushing you away. Why not explain to her that you often want time to miss her too.

Do you ever make her feel secure with your relationship? How do you go about it? Just some insights.

[Joy]

You are right everyone needs time on their own. This relaitonship is new and she wants to occupy your time . I don't think she means to stress you out by being in the mood... she wants to get to know you physically too

I would suggest to her that you want her to hang out with her friends and keep on developing her life and make plans to hang out and have lots of fun together. Take up an activity together and challenge each other mentally, physically and emotionally. Tell her cause you want to develop a well rounded relationship not just a sexual relationship.

[lime_lemur]

It's possible that she's just really excited about the new relationship, and will likely calm down over time. Most relationships are so exciting in the beginning it can be hard to want to be away from the new person, but I think it always disipates, and she will likely get used to being around you and not feel oblgiated to spend every moment with you.

It sounds like insecurity might be her problem. There's always that fear when you're in a new relationship with someone you really care about. Find out how to make her feel secure. If you really like her, find ways to let her know that you don't have intentions of leaving. However, if you have doubts about how much you like her, then you'll need to find a way to tell her that suffocation will push you away. It may hurt her feelings, but she also may not realize it otherwise. You don't want to let it crash and burn... address it as soon as you can with her.

Sometimes people try to be as affectionate and close as possible, and in the process they drain your energy. In a stable relationship, both people are content about the amount of time they spend together. Try to find a compromise.

[totallyconfused]

First thing is first....honesty. If you can't be honest about your thoughts, feelings and wishes, then what do you really have?

She probably is caught up in the newness of the relationship and it's great that she likes you enough to want all that time together. The reality of it is though, is it's not what you want. It's perfectly normal (and healthy)to want to have time with your friends and time on your own.

Fact of the matter is, you need to talk to her and tell her how you're feeling..making sure to point out you're very happy in the relationship. She probably won't like hearing what you have to say but she'll have to respect it.

Total honesty now saves you both heartache later. Good luck!

[Danny Boy]

Thanks

Thanks for all the replies everybody.

The fact is that I took action last night, right after I posted the question here, so I kinda relied on my intuition. But as i read, I found out that I acted good. I told her that she's going to push me away if she wants to take over my life and that I need my time alone or with my friends, but I also told her that I'm here to stay. She took it pretty bad at first, but afterwards I think she realised that it's ok and it looks like a promising relationship so far.

So thanks again!

Danny.

[WildChild]

Good for you, establishing a pattern of open, honest communication from the start is the best thing you could do!

[TheMainGirl]

talk to her, us girls like to talk you should know that lol

let her know what’s up and how your feeling and im sure she will understand.

if not then its up to you if you want to continue w/some 1 like that.

[Sunshine6180]

The best thing you can do in a new relatinship is keep it real. No matter how you feel or what you think, you should be honest. Do you know that you holding back your feelings and thoughts will hurt you more than your new girlfriend? I understand that it's only been a month but you have to tell her how you feel, you can be honest and loving at the same time and if she really cares for you then she will understand and back off a little. It sonds like she hasen't been with anyone before or for a long time, she's probably a little excited and afraid that if she dosen't make you happy or satisfy you, you may wnat to find someone else who can. I know it sounds alittle crazy but those of us who has suffered a major loss in the past tend to attempt to do things completley different from the past relationships. Just be honest with her as well as yourself and if she dosen't respect how you feel, then maybe you need to reconcider your situation. I mean do you really want to be with someone who dosen't respect how you feel? She dosen't have to like it, she is a woman, you know how that goes.lol