[drgnfly]

I have said i will not be the one to walk away on this relationship. But i am really losing hope. I have seen him a grand total or maybe 2 hours the last wek. He keeps saying we will talk but keeps changing plans so we cant. And i cant just keep sitting at home alone not knowing what will happen the next day or where he will be staying. It hurts and i dont know if i can continue to be put up pn a shelf and forgotten while he decides what he wants to do with this relationship and his life. Im tired of crying myself to sleep alone. Waiting for him is not allowing me to move on and get over the hurt. Am i wrong in thinking like this i love him and dont want to give up. But it seams hopeless.....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

drgnfly... put your foot down...

Tell him you are not sitting at home, day after day after day, worrying, wondering and it's time he was a man about this and told you straight out what he wants....

It's almost like he's a chicken and is staying away in hope that you just leave......and that would hurt me more, knowing that I'm a gooby for staying.

It's okay to love someone.

"If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you they are yours, if they don't they never were"...

I am a strong believer of the above saying.

CW

[drgnfly]

So i finally decided i couldent just keep waiting to know what was goinng to happen. He made it clear he couldent give me another chance. So I put in my two weeks notice with work and planned on leaving.

So I told him i was leaving and he brakes down saying he dosent know if he is making he right choice. He said that he feels that we need time and space but he isnt sure if me leaving was what he wanted. So i told him i could pull my two weeks and stay with friends for a while. BUT we both had to work on this if i was staying he replied with "I know."

Its hasent quite been a week since then but things are still the same. We dont talk, i never see him. It feels like he just wants to keep me close just incase what he is sttemping in life dosent work out.

Its so hard cuz i finally had decided to leave, to allow myself to moe on. No im back in the same situation as before. I have no idea where my life is going... Its like my life is on hold. I feel he dosent care or he wouldent be doing this. That if he did want me he would know and not drag it out...... I am so lost.... I dont wanna lose him. But i cant keep going on like this.....

[WildChild]

I think you know what you need to do. Having given 5 years, it's not easy. It's about growth, you can't stay stuck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think you know too.

Too many broken promises hey sweet.

Reminds me of a saying I use, "a fishing line" real me in, send me out, real me in, send me out.

For his pleasure? So he can be sure?

Go... Let him then see how much he misses you and if he does and what he missed out on, and how hard he is prepared to work to get you back "one day"...

Go... because you know he just let you down once again.

Go...Because you answered your own questions with your last post you don't need us to state anything else, other than agree with you and we do.

CW

[drgnfly]

Ok so I decided to give this a little longer. And no things are worse then before, his mother passed away unexpectantly 2 weeks ago and we have all been having a rough time dealing with it. I havent delt with it as well as he has. I have been an emotional backet case and couldent just leave with everything going on. I try to be there for him but it dosent seam like im helping. But he has said he dosent want me to go.

But the whole relationship, after his mom passed away idk why but i felt we needed to resolve out issues so we could either be there for eachother or not have the stress of us in limbo while dealing with everything. Which just ****ed him off and i know he needs time but i just feel our issue is not something that just happened wh have been seperated for 3 months now. Am i wrong in feeling i deserve atleast something to go by?

I know i have been push with the subject with him but its been hard being an emotional pmsing ball and not show im hurting. He says he dosent want to be around me cuz all i do is mope around lately. But up untill a few days ago when i guess i pushed him almost to his breaking point he would still kiss me and tell me he loved me. I just got the kisses back and he shows concern for me but he wont say he loves me anymore.

We are going out of town for his mothers burrial this weekend. After that im going to try and sit him down and ask him to have an adult conversation without yelling and no low blows to figure out what page we are on and hopefully get on the same one.

I just dont know what to do....

[WildChild]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This a very stressful time for both of you and may not be the best time make decisions. But you have to what you feel is right for your situation.

[drgnfly]

Well what has been making it very difficult is the only thing his mom and i had talked about before she passed away was her son and i and she would break down, she didnt like to see us fighting. And the the funeral service was about fixing the broken relationships that you can before its to late. So that has all added to my emotionalness and my drive to fix this. But he has been closed up and gets angry when i try to talk to him.

[WildChild]

Give him time. This is a deep hurt and will take a while to sink in.

[drgnfly]

Ok so I have been sticking it out trying to be there for him cuz he seams to really neeed it. He is still sleeping on the couch and I in the room. But he seams like a robot hardly shows any emotions. He FINALLY talked to me a little last night about whats been going on with him. He says that since his mother passes in October he just dosent care about anything he says he knows he souldent be that way but he is. He is ready to quit his job he just seams so un happy. I tried telling him that even though he dosent care others do care about him alot. He said he knows but he just dosent care. So when i told him good night last night I told him i loved him ( i havent in a while cuz its hard not hearing it back) And he said it last night but there wasent much feeling. I dont know what to do, with Christmas comming I dont wanna be here if its still like this I would rather be with my family. But I just feel he needs me here.... But he still has his married woman that he still talks to and swears they are just friends..... Im so lost.......