[Guest]

OTYA- You do have a point there, but i don think that would happen if she were to be with me.

Think again.

This guy is an introvert and narrow minded. She is a lot like more broad minded, knowledgeable and outspoken- in other words a lot like me she is:-) Hence i donno wat the heck is she doing with that guy.

His personality- or your personality for that matter have *nothing* to do with her own sense of morality.

[Guest]

And for that matter - what would make you desire this woman?

1. She's sticking around in a relationship that isn't working. This either means she's needy, controlling, or weak, and it definitely means she's sneaky and selfish.

2. She's cheating on her boyfriend. Whether or not you think she'd do it to you, do you want to call that type of person your G/F?

[Akkiben]

And for that matter - what would make you desire this woman?

1. She's sticking around in a relationship that isn't working. This either means she's needy, controlling, or weak, and it definitely means she's sneaky and selfish.

2. She's cheating on her boyfriend. Whether or not you think she'd do it to you, do you want to call that type of person your G/F?

I appreciate you views.

Here's what i think:- She been thru' 2 previous relations that din work out..so probably does not want to give up on this one, even if he's a jerk...Or she is just confused and finding it hard to accept that there indeed can be a guy like me that understands her unlike any.

I would not say she is cheating...if she doesn fit in there..and maybe was just waiting for someone who understood her, i don see anything wrong with any person if they feel like moving on. Why would anyone wanna spend the rest of their lives with someone they don share much or don have a matching wave length.

[Miya]

I'd just say be careful and cautious. Tread lightly and the other posters raise some valuable points to consider. With OTYA you have a guy's opinion too so consider that. I'm sure since you're as close as you say she already KNOWS how you feel. It's really up to her to make the decision of who she wants to be with. Maybe she is confused but it's solely her choice and if she wants to be with you she HAS to become capable of making it.

What you convey in actions is so much more powerful than words. A question though and some of the other Indian members would have even more insight but what kind of family is she from? (maybe I missed it but does she live with the guy or are they just in a relationship?) Does her family have plans for who she will marry and she's just doing this until that time comes? Are you both of the same religion/community?

Anyway, I'd just advise to be cautious in what you do. As others have pointed out, she's already in a relationship and now is spending this quality time and emotion with you while still in it with another one. Oh and a final note to bring a bit of fun...don't get caught in Bandra (Joggers park) holding hands or doing anything of you'll be explaining it to the police. My hubby and I were warned there and a friend of mine and her bf were actually arrested for having his arm around her and had to pay a fine.

[Hopeless Dork]

let me know how i can take her away from all the misery she is going through and most importantly- tell her that i would like to see us together.
Please advice.

Sounds like you want to save and rescue her, which will only work if she's the kind of girl that thrives on being saved and rescued. You say she just ended 2 relationships , is now in a 3rd yet spends all her time with you. I'm not trying to crush your hopes... but see the pattern and the writting on the walls and .... go in head first anyway, because well... thats what we do when we're in love.

I just hope that when/if you do manage to save her from herself (as you in your good intention think she's doing) that she doesn't find reasons to cry to, text, lean on someone else to save her from you.

[Guest]

I appreciate you views.

I'm glad.

Here's what i think:- She been thru' 2 previous relations that din work out..so probably does not want to give up on this one, even if he's a jerk...Or she is just confused and finding it hard to accept that there indeed can be a guy like me that understands her unlike any.

I don't think she's confused. In fact, I think she knows exactly what she's doing. I think you might be confused. To her - you're filling the void of what her current b/f isn't offering her. She's using you. And what's worse is that you are doing for free. Now you are now making excuses for her? There are no excuses for what she is doing to her current boyfriend and what she is doing to you. She's having her cake and eating it too.

I would not say she is cheating...if she doesn fit in there..and maybe was just waiting for someone who understood her, i don see anything wrong with any person if they feel like moving on. Why would anyone wanna spend the rest of their lives with someone they don share much or don have a matching wave length.

She's cheating. It doesn't matter if you two are sexual or not. In fact, it almost makes it a worse plight for you if you two aren't.

[Kallygirlie]

Hun what does her going through 2 failed relationships mean. That means she's a rookie. i'm lucky if I can keep my fail romances on 2 hands. I've been hurt in every way possble but does that mean I wouldnt end it with my current bf if he was in your words, a "jerk". heck yeah I would. Did it stop me from ending my last relationship because he was clingy and self centered, NOPE!!

She starting to sound like a typical playa. I mean really, she's with one but leading you on. Let me guess, she's told you she's going to leave him to be with you. If you guys have not kissed or had sex then no she is not cheating but emotionally she it. who's to say she wont do this to you.

I just say, dont hold your breath for her to leave him. She felt something for him in the beginning just like she's feeling for you. maybe she loves him more than you might think

[Akkiben]

Sounds like you want to save and rescue her, which will only work if she's the kind of girl that thrives on being saved and rescued. You say she just ended 2 relationships , is now in a 3rd yet spends all her time with you. I'm not trying to crush your hopes... but see the pattern and the writting on the walls and .... go in head first anyway, because well... thats what we do when we're in love.

I just hope that when/if you do manage to save her from herself (as you in your good intention think she's doing) that she doesn't find reasons to cry to, text, lean on someone else to save her from you.

I see your point here. Not like i want to rescue her...more like i feel that we two are good together based on the way we are. Our views match a lot.

I really don't know the exact reasons for her previous break-ups. But she has told me that the way she is...is not acceptable to most guys. She is a very smart and capable girl and i just can't understand as to how she could hook up with someone she does not blend with.

[Akkiben]

I'd just say be careful and cautious. Tread lightly and the other posters raise some valuable points to consider. With OTYA you have a guy's opinion too so consider that. I'm sure since you're as close as you say she already KNOWS how you feel. It's really up to her to make the decision of who she wants to be with. Maybe she is confused but it's solely her choice and if she wants to be with you she HAS to become capable of making it.

I dono what more or what does she see in that guy. I guess after two break-ups she doesn wanna go thru' any more pain and is sticking with this guy...or i've not shown or portrayed my intentions to take our relationship to the next level.

[Akkiben]

What you convey in actions is so much more powerful than words. A question though and some of the other Indian members would have even more insight but what kind of family is she from? (maybe I missed it but does she live with the guy or are they just in a relationship?) Does her family have plans for who she will marry and she's just doing this until that time comes? Are you both of the same religion/community?

She is from a Hindu family(North Indian) I'm christian(south Indian):-) The marriage decision lies with her or untill she tells her parents to start looking out for her.