Hi All,
I'm new here and am looking for a different perspective on a situation I found myself in.
"Jess" and I have been friends since middle school (we're now both 24). We used to hang around each other all the time in high school, and when we went to different colleges, we saw less of each other, but would occationally get together when we were both in our hometown on a random weekend. I still see her relatively frequently, although it is less one-on-one time and more we both are at a gathering held by mutual friends or family, but we still get along quite well and keep up with each other's lives as best we can. Anyway, she found out a while ago that is pregnant with her first child. She kept it pretty hush-hush at first, telling only her family, but she did tell others later. It was unexpected to say the least, she had not been with the father very long when she became pregnant, had just graduated from college, was unemployed, and living with her parents. But she and the father are making things work and the pregnancy has become a pleasant surprise instead of an "accident" that it initially was.
A very good mutual friend of both of ours is planning her baby shower. I spoke with the mutual friend about it, asking what the colors were, where she's registered, if there's anything I can do for her, etc (usual girl talk) and asked why I had not gotten an invitation yet as the party is only about 2 weeks away. I was informed that I was not invited, which to me was SHOCKING since we've known each other for over a decade and (at least I thought) were still friends. I just went camping with her and a group of mutual friends 3 weeks ago and we had a long chat about life, guys, her baby and plans, etc (more girl talk!), and it was as if we were still as close as ever.
I'm not sure why I was not included, and I don't know what would have happened to make her not ask me to be there? Other friends have been given the invite, just a select few it seems did not get invited. Am I wrong to feel so jisted about this? Do I approach her? I don't want to make her feel like she HAS to invite me, but I also want to know why she didn't want me there! I know for certain it is not a money/space issue that warrants fewer invites, so I'm stumped. Maybe she's still uncomfortable about her unexpected pregnancy and thinks I might judge her (which I don't!)? How do I handle this one? Perhaps just let it go and re-evalute what I thought was still a close friendship? None of these options seem right! Does anyone have an opinion? Has this happened to you before??
I'm new here and am looking for a different perspective on a situation I found myself in.
"Jess" and I have been friends since middle school (we're now both 24). We used to hang around each other all the time in high school, and when we went to different colleges, we saw less of each other, but would occationally get together when we were both in our hometown on a random weekend. I still see her relatively frequently, although it is less one-on-one time and more we both are at a gathering held by mutual friends or family, but we still get along quite well and keep up with each other's lives as best we can. Anyway, she found out a while ago that is pregnant with her first child. She kept it pretty hush-hush at first, telling only her family, but she did tell others later. It was unexpected to say the least, she had not been with the father very long when she became pregnant, had just graduated from college, was unemployed, and living with her parents. But she and the father are making things work and the pregnancy has become a pleasant surprise instead of an "accident" that it initially was.
A very good mutual friend of both of ours is planning her baby shower. I spoke with the mutual friend about it, asking what the colors were, where she's registered, if there's anything I can do for her, etc (usual girl talk) and asked why I had not gotten an invitation yet as the party is only about 2 weeks away. I was informed that I was not invited, which to me was SHOCKING since we've known each other for over a decade and (at least I thought) were still friends. I just went camping with her and a group of mutual friends 3 weeks ago and we had a long chat about life, guys, her baby and plans, etc (more girl talk!), and it was as if we were still as close as ever.
I'm not sure why I was not included, and I don't know what would have happened to make her not ask me to be there? Other friends have been given the invite, just a select few it seems did not get invited. Am I wrong to feel so jisted about this? Do I approach her? I don't want to make her feel like she HAS to invite me, but I also want to know why she didn't want me there! I know for certain it is not a money/space issue that warrants fewer invites, so I'm stumped. Maybe she's still uncomfortable about her unexpected pregnancy and thinks I might judge her (which I don't!)? How do I handle this one? Perhaps just let it go and re-evalute what I thought was still a close friendship? None of these options seem right! Does anyone have an opinion? Has this happened to you before??
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