Issues.
My name is Chelsea. I just turned 18 in September, and I have a 2 and a half year old daughter with my ex-boyfriend, Gavin. I've been having problems with my relationship with Gavin, and it seems like no matter what I do, I don't move forward with anything. I'll try to explain the problem as thoroughly as I can, give or take a few details. I'm asking that someone read it, and give me their prospective of what I should do to make myself happy.
I was with Gavin for a long time. I knew that I had fallen in love with him the first day I ever met him. When I was 15, I got pregnant and we had our child, Samara. We stayed together throughout the whole pregnancy, and from what I thought, we were doing very well, and we were very much in love.
When Samara was a little under a year old I went away to North Carolina for a Summer. During my stay, Gavin cheated on me with a girl, and broke up with me. I was sad, because I thought he loved me more than that, and I trusted him. My heart was broken.
We talked the rest of my stay in North Carolina, and he told me he was sorry, and that he still loved me, but he needed some time to be by himself. He said that we would get back together when he was ready. This made me happy, I had forgiven him; but I would never forget..
When I came back from North Carolina he came to my house to greet me and we had sex. After wards, he told me not to tell anyone.. A few days later, I found out he was talking with this girl, Ashley, and that he liked her. I talked to him about it, and he assured me that he would never date Ashley. I wanted to believe him, but my heart knew otherwise. For the next month Gavin and I were sleeping together. He would not go back out with me.. He was coming over to visit Samara one afternoon, and he told me he was going to bring Ashley. I said no, and I told him that if he did I would tell her we had been having sex. He threatened me and told me that I would lose all chance at being with him again, and that he would never talk to me again. Fearful of that, I didn't tell her, but I had to suffer the whole time he had her in my house. I learned that they started dating later that day. So I told her online that he and I had been sleeping with him. He denied it and then told me that if I didn't tell her I was lying he wouldn't speak to me. So I did.
Gavin stopped doing things with me. He claimed he had 'changed'. I was devastated. I toughed it out for a few weeks, then I saw them together at the fair. I got really jealous. Then Ashley's friend started yelling at me, because I was 'lying' about sleeping with Gavin and it made me really mad, so I told her that I wasn't lying. We all confronted him, and he admitted it. They didn't break up. He didn't talk to me for a couple weeks. Then he started visiting our daughter 2 times a week, bringing me with him. At the time I did not live with her. One night he went to drop me off, and we kissed. He told me that he was sorry, and he didn't know why he felt like that about me. Since then, we started fooling around again. I felt powerful and I liked it.
Time passed and something happened, and my conscious was growing heavier and heavier until I couldn't take it anymore. I told Ashley about he and I. And again, she didn't break up with him. They talked it out and he promised never to do it again. I was sad again, but I was addicted to the feeling of being with him. I felt special. So I told him I was sorry, and that I wanted to go back. And he agreed. We started fooling around again. It got to the point where he would see me more often than he would see her.
Months later, my guilty conscious was back again. And I told on myself. And AGAIN, they did not break up.. This time he stopped talking to me for a while. I started talking to Ashley. I told her about everything, and we figured out that Gavin had cheated on him with someone else. I was angry. For over a year, I was the only other one besides Ashley, and I felt special. Now that there was someone else, the feeling was gone.
I can't get over him though. I love this boy so much. Just the sound of his name makes me heart throb. I think about him constantly.. He only recently started talking to me again. And we fooled around again.. You'd think I would have learned my lesson. But I'm finished telling Ashley about us. She knows he's a cheater, and she puts herself in the position.. I gave her opportunities to leave him. I have to admit.. I don't want her to for her sake, but for mine.
I love Gavin. I'm still fooling around with him, and we talk all the time.. I know it's wrong, but I don't feel like I can stop. He's like my drug, I don't feel right without having him there. What a I supposed to do? This is really unhealthy for me, but I don't know how to stop it, or make it better. Please give me advice.
I was with Gavin for a long time. I knew that I had fallen in love with him the first day I ever met him. When I was 15, I got pregnant and we had our child, Samara. We stayed together throughout the whole pregnancy, and from what I thought, we were doing very well, and we were very much in love.
When Samara was a little under a year old I went away to North Carolina for a Summer. During my stay, Gavin cheated on me with a girl, and broke up with me. I was sad, because I thought he loved me more than that, and I trusted him. My heart was broken.
We talked the rest of my stay in North Carolina, and he told me he was sorry, and that he still loved me, but he needed some time to be by himself. He said that we would get back together when he was ready. This made me happy, I had forgiven him; but I would never forget..
When I came back from North Carolina he came to my house to greet me and we had sex. After wards, he told me not to tell anyone.. A few days later, I found out he was talking with this girl, Ashley, and that he liked her. I talked to him about it, and he assured me that he would never date Ashley. I wanted to believe him, but my heart knew otherwise. For the next month Gavin and I were sleeping together. He would not go back out with me.. He was coming over to visit Samara one afternoon, and he told me he was going to bring Ashley. I said no, and I told him that if he did I would tell her we had been having sex. He threatened me and told me that I would lose all chance at being with him again, and that he would never talk to me again. Fearful of that, I didn't tell her, but I had to suffer the whole time he had her in my house. I learned that they started dating later that day. So I told her online that he and I had been sleeping with him. He denied it and then told me that if I didn't tell her I was lying he wouldn't speak to me. So I did.
Gavin stopped doing things with me. He claimed he had 'changed'. I was devastated. I toughed it out for a few weeks, then I saw them together at the fair. I got really jealous. Then Ashley's friend started yelling at me, because I was 'lying' about sleeping with Gavin and it made me really mad, so I told her that I wasn't lying. We all confronted him, and he admitted it. They didn't break up. He didn't talk to me for a couple weeks. Then he started visiting our daughter 2 times a week, bringing me with him. At the time I did not live with her. One night he went to drop me off, and we kissed. He told me that he was sorry, and he didn't know why he felt like that about me. Since then, we started fooling around again. I felt powerful and I liked it.
Time passed and something happened, and my conscious was growing heavier and heavier until I couldn't take it anymore. I told Ashley about he and I. And again, she didn't break up with him. They talked it out and he promised never to do it again. I was sad again, but I was addicted to the feeling of being with him. I felt special. So I told him I was sorry, and that I wanted to go back. And he agreed. We started fooling around again. It got to the point where he would see me more often than he would see her.
Months later, my guilty conscious was back again. And I told on myself. And AGAIN, they did not break up.. This time he stopped talking to me for a while. I started talking to Ashley. I told her about everything, and we figured out that Gavin had cheated on him with someone else. I was angry. For over a year, I was the only other one besides Ashley, and I felt special. Now that there was someone else, the feeling was gone.
I can't get over him though. I love this boy so much. Just the sound of his name makes me heart throb. I think about him constantly.. He only recently started talking to me again. And we fooled around again.. You'd think I would have learned my lesson. But I'm finished telling Ashley about us. She knows he's a cheater, and she puts herself in the position.. I gave her opportunities to leave him. I have to admit.. I don't want her to for her sake, but for mine.
I love Gavin. I'm still fooling around with him, and we talk all the time.. I know it's wrong, but I don't feel like I can stop. He's like my drug, I don't feel right without having him there. What a I supposed to do? This is really unhealthy for me, but I don't know how to stop it, or make it better. Please give me advice.
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