[Loveshoes]

Lol... Thanks Tex but umm... That's just the way I feel. I don't find myself that attractive. I'm not ugly but I don't think I'm hot or sexy. I'm just... Average. I pretend that I have a lot of self confidence but truth me told, it's completely shot. I have none and that alone makes me unattractive. No man likes a girl who isn't confident except the slime balls that want to get a girl like that so they can control her.

I guess a huge part of why I lack self esteem is because men always want to have sex with me and not a relationship. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

Wow, girl are you looking at the same pictures that I am? Do you have any idea how many girls would give their right hand (or their left, depends on which side is dominant) just to look like you? You don't have to be completely confident to know that you are beautiful and you deserve the best. And if you feel that this guy isn't giving you the best, then move on. My best suggestion would be, as hard as it is, wait for the sex, hold out as long as you can before you decide to give your prize to someone and see how they treat you and if you would be willing to accept that. If not, then how do you think that will turn out after you give them what you have?

Be strong, strike quick. Truly, IMHO, he doesn't deserve you. Move on and find that person that will treat you like the princess you are. Let them treat you with respect because you deserve it. And if they don't, then move to another book until you find the good book you're looking for.

[kygirl]

Linds, read kygirl's latest thread.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/dating/19302-need-honest-male-opinions-should-i-stay-should-i-go.html

I don't think you should have to wait at all. A person that truly cares about you and wants to see you will make time to be with you.

Don't think about what COULD BE but think about what IS. Ask yourself if what IS is what you deserve. Ask yourself if you are happy with that or if you deserve more.

I agree with Tex. Read my thread... I know you wanna make it work, but sweetie, you are beautiful!! You're young, fun and intelligent. You can find someone else who will be more than willing to woo you and treat you like you deserve to be treated.

He'll keep coming around as long as you'll let him... but on his terms... You don't need that.

good luck!!

[ThexMrs]

The only way to earn respect is by demanding it.

I have and when that happens, he wants to walk.

Why in the world should you have to settle for a messed-up version of love?

It's what I'm used to... I just want love.

Be strong, strike quick. Truly, IMHO, he doesn't deserve you. Move on and find that person that will treat you like the princess you are. Let them treat you with respect because you deserve it. And if they don't, then move to another book until you find the good book you're looking for.

One of my biggest things is that I don't want to start over again. That's the worst! I kind of feel like Jared is my "Temp" until my true love (Marty - My ex) makes up his mind. Really, that's not fair to anyone involved unless all three parties agree to it.

I text Jared yesterday and told him, "I'm haldway gone." His response, "Go then!" I guess that tells me a lot. I replied, "Thank you for telling me how you feel about me." His repsonse, "I'm frustrate. Had a bad day." He has an excuse for everything. When he says these things to me I don't know what to believe. He's the first guy I've ever met that I couldn't figure out or even get to know. It's torture.

[Texinator]

It's what I'm used to... I just want love.

It's not love. Jared loves having sex with you. He doesn't love you.

That's not your fault but you should focus on finding someone that does love you. Truly loves you. Not just when they get to have sex with you or only when things are going good.

[caterpillar79]

How do we know that the man we are with is not just after sex? Hints and pointers here now, Tex...

[Texinator]

I think a big hint would be how much of an interest they take in you in general. Do they like to learn about you as a person? Do they take in an interest in how your day went, in what you did and what you thought?

Another big one would be if and how their attitude changes after having sex for the first time.

[caterpillar79]

Well, true. It is easy to pin point if it is new. But what if it has been a while, and it was hard to read the guy the first few times?

[Texinator]

I think it still applies then. Some guys that are only after sex will start losing interest in a woman over time and show up only when they think sex is on the table, while others might want to spend more and more time with her hoping that they can get more and more sex. So if a guy hangs around you more than usual you'll have to determine if his interest is genuine and he just enjoys spending time with you or if he is circling his 'prey' if you will. Ask yourself if he seems happy even when there is no touching going on.

Adversity is another good indicator. A woman should look to see if he stays by her side even when things aren't going so well. It can be anything from a bad day to a challenging life event. Does he run and hide and hope for better times or does he stay to comfort and support her.

[caterpillar79]

I think it still applies then. Some guys that are only after sex will start losing interest in a woman over time and show up only when they think sex is on the table, while others might want to spend more and more time with her hoping that they can get more and more sex. So if a guy hangs around you more than usual you'll have to determine if his interest is genuine and he just enjoys spending time with you or if he is circling his 'prey' if you will. Ask yourself if he seems happy even when there is no touching going on.

Adversity is another good indicator. A woman should look to see if he stays by her side even when things aren't going so well. It can be anything from a bad day to a challenging life event. Does he run and hide and hope for better times or does he stay to comfort and support her.

I think you got it summed up. Thanks.

[Guest]

How do we know that the man we are with is not just after sex? Hints and pointers here now, Tex...

"A MAN WHO IS INTERESTED IN YOU WILL NOT PUSH SEX!

If he's pushing it from the get go...that's all he wants. LOSE HIM!

If you go on a couple dates, and he's pushing it....that's all he wants. LOSE HIM!

Feel out whether he is trying to get to know YOU, or if he is trying to DO YOU. Explain to him that you value your sexuality and you'd prefer that you two know each other before you get physical. If he's worth it....HE WILL STICK AROUND!

Once again - WATCH what he does, take what he says with a grain of salt. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. TALK IS CHEAP. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!

A man who is interested in you will:

Do what he says - call/text you when he said he was going to. If he doesn't, he's got a completely reasonable answer.

Will ask YOU out to do things....

Won't be glued to his phone/blackberry...

Won't disappear/reapper suddenly....

Will introduce you to his friends/family.....

Will offer to pay his part of the bill....

Will respect you...."