[WildChild]

So why are you tempted and what would it take to talk you out of it?

[Alaric]

I keep trying to post and get the stupid log in page

[Alaric]

I have a 22 year old neighbor who is a stay at home mom. I'm not working for the winter and we hang out , sometimes drink , and talk. My problem doesn't seem to be the standard middle-age crazy (I'm 47). We have kissed , touched very inappropriately , discussed sexual technique , preference and practice , and texted/said "I love you's". She has said she won't cheat on her husband so many times I don't think she is trying to convince me.
I'm old enough to deal with simple physical attraction (and she is very pretty) , but it's gotten worse than that. Her husband makes the silly little errors young married people do , and I have enough experience not to. I find myself wanting to tell her to take a day and leave the kids (she has two) with me and I'll clean the house , make dinner and generally give her a day of "me time".
The big problem? After that I'd be content with holding her and watching some stupid romantic comedy (or whatever) on TV for the rest of the evening. I'm moving beyond the relatively easy physical attraction. I shouldn't be falling in love-I'm supposed to be smarter than that. (yeah , right) The easy advice is walk away NOW. I don't know if it's that easy now.

BTW , I told her we were already cheating , just not indulging in "worst case" behavior.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Irishbynature65.

People are still replying to your thread, so I hope you come back to read more.

Alaric, your correct, your both emotionally cheating.

She is only a babe, she's 22. Her husband off course is going to do stupid things, he's probably only 22, as a Father figure you should be there purely to be a friend, guide her, not let your hormones at 47 get in the way.

If she was to leave her husband one day and say she wanted to be with you then, then you have a right to cook for her, etc.

But doesn't a 22 year old deserve to find out how life goes? The good and the bad? Without getting confused because you've fallen for her?

We at 46/47 have had life lessons, we understand things... At 22, neither you or I totally got the picture.

I personally agree. WALK AWAY NOW ...

This is unfair to start with as well as your being very much the instigator, off course she will bat her eyelashes, .... your wise enough, old enough to realise this is wrong in so many ways.

CW

[Alaric]

I was NOT the instigator-I am , however the responsible party. Yup , terminally stupid of me. Her hubby is 27 and they're both entitled to their mistakes without some pathetic old perv screwing stuff up. I'm not going to go into my home situation because it would smell like excuse-making and BS-and it would be just that. My frustration and the shock of finding a "young hottie" interested in me is definitely affecting common sense and what has always been a pretty solid moral compass. This is so far out of my experience it's making me dizzy. I don't believe I'm "in love" after a couple months , I know better than that , but I feel a an ache for her that just can't be allowed. Anybody have any distraction techniques? Maybe a way of looking at this I haven't considered?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Aweee, your not a perv, nor pathetic, nor old, geez ... I am a year younger than you or maybe only a few months.

So she seeks attention... women are clever at a young age in that department, flirting and it's flattering, I had a 21 year old and goodness knows how many up to 30 trying, professing their love... It's nice, I get that.

Can I suggest you start your own thread in this regard? So we don't hi-jack this one

I would be happy to offer some thoughts, I know it's hard but probably need a little more information.

So, how about you start one I'm on line for a while

CW

[Alaric]

Okey dokey. Thanks.

[the wench]

he should never be telling another woman he loves her no matter what relationship they had in the past even if it was just friends....def look into this more!!

[Calicorado83]

This might be a little off topic but your thread reminded me of it. I read an article today which stated the obvious, but was still interesting to read. It's topic was jealousy. Men get jealous over their significant other having sex with another man, while women get jealous over their significant other falling in love with another woman. Men never really know if the child their woman bears is really his, hence the wanted monogamous sexual relations. Women need the reassurance that their man will be loyal as the provider and protector of her and her children, hence the monogamous emotional relations. So, here your husband is telling another woman, "I love you," what a way to spark an instinctual bit of jealousy and possessiveness huh?

I would definitely question him about it. If he didn't bother to cover his tracks, then he shouldn't get mad that you looked and found it in his phone. The matter that you went though his phone isn't as important (to me) as it is that he's telling another woman who is outside of the marriage that he loves her. Just be honest and tell him how it makes you feel. And if you decide to approach him, use the word "I" more than the word "you", so that it sounds less blameful. (I guess blameful isn't a word, but you understand)
Say, "I don't know what to think about it, or I feel this way," rather than, "well if you hadn't continued to talk to her!" it might make it betterand you might get the answers you want.