[Little_Miss_Me]

Realistically? No. People constantly change, and after years of change, eventually there will be someone better out there to suite the newer "you" or the newer "s/o". After living my first three years divorce-free, I've seen a divorce with either my father or my mother ever since. The only couple I've yet to see still make it after years and years (well, couple that I'm close to), is my father's parents, who hate each other.

Fantastical? Of course. I've fallen in love one time, and no other person has ever made me feel anything -close- to how he's made me feel. And if I had the chance to make it work and make all of his dreams come true, I would.

Everyone's different. /shrug.

[oxy-moron]

Part of the problem is that people do not change- they become less flexible as time goes on. They wont adjust or move. And it only gets worse with age.
People imagine that changing their partner will make them happier. A few years later they are in the same boat but worse off financially. Part of the problem is that like all things, relationships require work.
A lot of people would rather neglect the relationship than work on it- like fitness or any other part of life. Maybe they believe the magic of love should keep everything working sweetly- If not then they move on.

As time goes on the people they meet for new relationships are often part of a big pool of people with issues of their own. They have their own baggage and have failed to keep their own relationships together. In their new relationship they base relationships on LOVE which is really just an obsessional phase which nature uses for the purpose of generating new life. Sexual desire is boosted for a while , again for natures benefit. But a few years later you end up with the real person- not the illusion.

The people who come to this site are mainly fusers( people who strive for togetherness and like to provide-Including providing sexual enjoyment) They complain about their partners who are Isolators( People who avoid intimacy because of their upbringing). Isolators dont come to the site often because they are usually fixated on some hobby or practise that helps them minimise meaningful human contact.

Fusers will hang on a long time because they want everyone to be happy. Isolators do not care because they are happy in their isolation.

Remember people- you chose your isolator- would you choose another isolator if you had another chance- probably you would.

[WildChild]

I just don't buy this. I know quite a few people who have maintained relationships of long duration and are happier now at 25, 30 or 50 years, than they were at times when they were younger. Yes relationships have ups and downs but people who love each other and keep the lines of communication open, work through things.

SOME people may be less flexible as they mature, but many of us are open to things we weren't when we were younger. I have seen people make huge changes later in life. I watched my grandmother change a life long habit in how she treated people and alter her relationships with her children and others for the better. Just because someone has proposed a way of viewing and classifying people within relationship does not mean that everyone, or even the majority fit that view.

People are dynamic and so are relationships. We do change and grow and may come to want different things as we mature. Love can last a lifetime or be fleeting. How people balance within a relationship to meet boths needs varies, but so long as it work for them, more power to them!

[the wench]

it should be about communication,honesty,trust and compromise and most importantly actually loving the other person.....if you have these things then thats a good start to build a life upon!

[oxy-moron]

I think peoples behaviour and personality are more likely to be be influenced by Nature/ Genetics and any behaviour learned in nurture will have been set before the teen years.
Many people believe that the person they fell in love with has changed-or failed to change to meet the growth or change of the partner. This is just an self justification.
The match is a s good as it was when the initial bond was made.

There are a few other primates that pair bond for life. Interestingly these other primates share the same presence of Oxytocin receptors in the brain as humans do. Non life bonding primates do not have this. The behaviour of pair bonded primates has been studied and some interesting things come to light from the research.
Pair bonds with strong connection show equal and high Oxytocin levels. Behaviours of the pairs are consistent with behaviours that are known to produce high Oxytocin.
The pairs are unconsciously boosting their levels through behaviour. In my opinion the behaviours are a good pointer to how humans should be behaving.
I believe that high Oxytocin fosters behaviours that reinforce pair bonds. Personality and personality match are not important as long as the behaviours are there to reinforce the bond. We may believe that we have come a long way from our past but I personally think we have a lot to learn from our other pair bonding primates.
There is no magic in love - there is only our own hormonal system- we either learn to manipulate it to our advantage or suffer the consequences of believing in true love.( or true obsession)