[livinlife2006]

I am so confused and I don't know what to do..
My boyfriend have been dating for the past year and 8 months and two months ago he told me that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He told me that months before that he started getting confused about his love for me. We moved in together before he broke the news months later which blows my mind because he went with it and didnt back down. He said he was gonna tell me when he figured out why he felt that way. I said it is not me, it is him. Does he need counseling? I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he doesnt know what he wants. I wonder if he is afraid of settling down. He is a senior in college and graduates this spring. I often wonder if he doesn't want me to come along with him. I am leaving for a week tomorrow to give him some space and he seems saddened by me leaving. I just dont get it. He treats me as if he loves me. He bought me roses yesterday took me out to dinner and bought me chocolate. What does that all mean? He still cuddles with me and his affection is still there. He will even surprise me at work and surprise me with things still. He seems happy when we are together and happy when I get back from work. What I don't get is people who dont love someone backs off and my boyfriend is still the same way when we first started dating. He mentioned that he may just be confused by the meaning of love. He said his definition of love is the feeling of not wanting to live without me. He says he feels he could live without me. He is very independent and I don't believe love is about that. My heart is so broken and everything is soooo great with him right now except for the fact that he doesnt tell me he loves me. He told me that he does not see a future with us but I dont know why he doesnt end it and why he still treats me like he loves me. On Thanksgiving he wanted me to come with him to see his family so bad and he enjoys me being around. He told me that we have a lot of the same interests, likes me being around and he does like me. The support means so much from anybodys input! I need direction...

[Chantalemma]

I think your bf is quite confused. I would sit him down and ask him what he wants out of this relationship? What you want. Put everything out on the table for him to see. I know for a fact that everybody doesn't love the same way. Some poeple love the other person and some people are actually in love with the other person. Some care for the other and some like the other person. You have to set this straight. You can't live like this not knowing how he feels... tell him. Be honest!!!!!

[kygirl]

He mentioned that he may just be confused by the meaning of love. He said his definition of love is the feeling of not wanting to live without me. He says he feels he could live without me. He is very independent and I don't believe love is about that. My heart is so broken and everything is soooo great with him right now except for the fact that he doesnt tell me he loves me.

I don't know how old you are, but that might shed some light on things. You can live without anyone. At points in time, you may feel like you can't, but you always can. I think he's confused with what love is and what exactly love entails. A year and half in, things change...Not always in a bad way, but they do change. You get past some of the initial giddy feelings and start to care more deeply about a person. Things grow and develop.

I think you need to consider taking a break and letting him take some time (and you as well) to really think about where you relationship stands, if it should continue, or if maybe you should start seeing other people.

Good luck!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't think he can determine because you spend to much time together.

I think that because you live with him, he is expecting that "marriage feeling", yet feels that he could live with you or on his own.. Perhaps that is how his parents have advised him of what love is... "you can't live without them".

Seems you are "best friends" and there is affection but he hasn't met your soul.

Do you have independence? You say he does, but do you? Maybe you are around all the time, unless he goes out somewhere, catches up with mates, your there.

Maybe he hasn't, doesn't get the chance to miss you so he's not sure, seeing a strong bond, friendship but not that "feeling"...

Let him miss you, get out yourself more, just because you live with each other doesn't mean you live in each other's pockets.

Seems he has a lot of good qualities and sees a lot of good qualities in you, you need that goo goo gaa gaa dating, and spark... friendships end up exactly as that, ... He needs to see more, your soul, ...

CW

[ThexMrs]

I think that your boyfriend is very confused about his feelings. I wouldn't say that just because he said he doesn't love you anymore that he needs counseling. The thing is, there is a difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. Maybe that's his problem. He loves you but he's not IN LOVE with you. That sort of thing happens all of the time. Until he figures this out I don't think that he would start treating you differently. He's trying to be the way he always was but at the same trying to figure out what he is feeling. Give him his space. In the time while you are away, don't talk to him. No contact. Maybe that will help him see that it's true, that he can't live without you. I wish you the best and definitely update us.

[KMonte85]

I agree with the above comments! It sounds like you both needs some space from each other to re-evaluate how you truly feel about one another. Sometimes too much togetherness can cloud up a relationship. Some time apart should help you both to sort out how you feel towards each other! It sounds like your boyfriend does still care a great deal about you, but he needs some time to think through where he wants to go... give him that time, and you should also take that time to think about your future and where you want to be.. then come together and talk through what you both have concluded!

Best of luck to you both!